


I Think He Knows

by mundane_blues



Series: The Loververse [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: "fake" dating but not in the way you're probably thinking, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Other, Rivalry, The R in Renjun is for rational, and by rivalry i mean: Nahyuck trying to one-up each other LMAO, competitive Nahyuck, everyone else is caught in between, more-or-less a long game of gay chicken, or: how everyone finds out Mark and Donghyuck are dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mundane_blues/pseuds/mundane_blues
Summary: Eventually Jaemin, Jisung, Chenle and Jeno find out. It all happens quite comically, really.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck & Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: The Loververse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556896
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	1. the incredible things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to that sequel to Lover I kept talking about LOL, basically there's a short paragraph in Chapter 13 of Lover that more or less sums up succinctly what this fic will be about. Even if you haven't read [Lover](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21222224/chapters/50525738) yet (although I hope you have, or do!) this story should still be enjoyable for you to read haha, and any parts related to Lover are (kinda) explained throughout the fic. If you have read Lover: you'll see how some events in Chapter 13 take place from the rest of the Dream's perspectives :D
> 
> Initially, I really wanted to include part of the story in Lover; however, because I wanted the main focus to be on Markhyuck's relationship, this was sorta tossed out, since 
> 
> a) this story was something I wanted to flesh out to be more than just one paragraph, let alone one chapter of Lover, and  
> b) here the focus is equal parts Markhyuck and equal parts Dreamie interactions, rather than the story primarily revolving around Mark and Donghyuck's developing love for each other, and  
> c) I _really_ really love writing Donghyuck and Jaemin's competitive interactions and how they drag everyone else into their mess and this story is basically an excuse to do just that! LMAO
> 
> Don't worry, there will still be tender Markhyuck moments, but there will also be just as much chaotic hijinks and shennanigans between the Dreamies LMAO and, overall, this story is just dedicated to emphasizing why Dream are such good friends with another.
> 
> Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional, and does not reflect upon any real persons, places, or things mentioned in this story. The story, writing and characters of 'I Think He Knows' belong to me. The song this story was based on belongs to Taylor Swift. Do not repost anywhere and do not print/distribute.

_I think he knows his footprints on the sidewalk_

“Ugh, why are you being so annoying about this,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath.

 _Is he seriously complaining to me right now?_ Renjun thinks to himself. _After helping them not only move Mark's stuff, but also hide their relationship from everyone else so far?_

Irritation flares up in Renjun’s mind, but he tries to stay calm for the sake of keeping the peace with his new live-in ‘oh-my-god-they-were-roommates’ boyfriends (not his boyfriends, just his friends who are boyfriends that also happen to be his roommates).

“I’m not being annoying,” he replies, firm on setting up some ground rules. “You guys are being annoying by being so whiny about this.”

It’s the end of January. Their last semester of college has just started, Mark just moved back into the apartment, and after spending a couple of hours moving all of Mark’s belongings out of boxes and back into his room with Donghyuck (including his bed, much to everyone’s annoyance), Renjun needs to go over the apartment rules with them. 

Not that anyone except Mark or Jeno would follow any kind of “apartment rules” – that’s just the nature of living in such a chaotic place. Still, given Mark is one-half of the relationship between Mark and Donghyuck, and both halves also want to still keep their relationship “low-key” (which is Donghyuck-speak for saying “I want this to be a secret and no one can find out, _especially_ Jaemin”), Renjun thought it would be best to establish some ground rules about how they should conduct their relationship inside the apartment.

But apparently, the rules aren’t that important to the people who actually need to follow them. Which annoys Renjun, since Donghyuck is the one who was pining over Mark for three years now, and all of a sudden he thinks he’s got it all figured out? Renjun’s not even being cocky or condescending: he _knows_ that Mark and Donghyuck have this weirdly whimsical will-they-won’t-they energy to their dynamic that almost reads like a long-form multi-chapter (maybe thirteen, but who's to say) work of fiction, slow burn included.

In theory, it sounds wonderful and romantic, but in reality Renjun has been over it since Donghyuck confessed he was in love with Mark and _still_ didn’t do anything about it for a year. Actually, the first thing he thought when he saw them kiss in the airport was _fucking finally_. Three years of _knowing_ that Mark and Donghyuck were in love with each other, having to go live through their huge fight, their mutual pining, and everything in between, yet neither of them would own up to being in love with each other. Because they were just _that_ stubborn of idiots. 

Until Renjun just gave Donghyuck the push earlier this month (which frankly, he should’ve done last year, when Mark was moving to New York), and then it finally happened. He had never felt more vindicated in his life, and yet the fact that it took them _that_ long to confess to each other... _tragically hopeless_ , that’s the only descriptor Renjun thinks of whenever he thinks of Mark and Donghyuck. And the rules are to stop them from being such tragically hopeless romantics. Seriously, he doesn’t know if he can put up with their dramatic antics anymore – at this point he feels like he puts more effort into helping Donghyuck (and Mark) with their relationship more than he spends time trying to actually find someone of his own to date.

“Can you just stop being up our asses about this?” Donghyuck whines. “Why do we have to come up with official rules? What are we, referees? You’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be, just let us take a break.”

At this point, Renjun just feels tired. He’s not even mad that Donghyuck is complaining about this even though he _knows_ that Mark and Donghyuck will expose themselves in less than a day if they don’t have some guidelines on how to keep their relationship “low-key”. Right now, he just feels as if no matter what he tries, _something_ will go wrong and inevitably they’ll slip up, Jaemin will be the first to know, and then Jeno, and before long–

 _Jaemin,_ Renjun repeats again in his mind, and then suddenly he knows exactly how he’s going to make sure Mark and Donghyuck are _begging_ him to repeat the rules.

“Oh? Is that so,” Renjun says smugly. “Well, then…”

He pulls out his phone and dials Jaemin’s phone number (for dramatic effect, he could’ve just pressed his contact name, but he knows Jaemin’s cell phone number by heart). He puts it on speaker so that Mark and Donghyuck can hear. On the third ring, the other line picks up.

“ _Injunnieeeee,_ ” Jaemin says in his cute aegyo voice on the other line.

Seeing the two of them immediately sit up straight and look absolutely terrified brings nothing short of a power surge running through Renjun’s body. Oh yes, he’ll enjoy this very much, and be sure they follow the rules.

***

Jaemin gets a call from Renjun around 3:00 PM that day. He’s walking from the library to go hang out with some friends for boba – or, rather, to hang out with some friends for _gossip_ , boba’s already a given. After finishing doing some homework for one of his classes, he’s cutting across campus when he gets a phone call from Renjun.

Always in a good mood whenever he knows he’s about to get some gossip, and knowing his _aegyo_ voice makes Renjun’s skin crawl, Jaemin decides to kill two birds with one stone.

“ _Injunnieeeee,_ ” Jaemin smiles.

“Hey Jaem.”

“What’s up?”

“Just calling to see if you wanna get dinner with me later,” Renjun says. “I’m getting KBBQ with Mark and Donghyuck.”

_Mark and Donghyuck_.

Honestly, Jaemin’s not _too_ keen on getting dinner with Mark and Donghyuck. Not that he’s one to start drama in their apartment (he already learned that lesson the hard way, many times, especially so during one Friendsgiving), and he hasn’t told anyone this, but he’s noticed that there’s this weirdly... _off_ energy whenever Mark and Donghyuck interact. 

It reminds Jaemin a lot of how they used to act before their big fight two years ago – both of them dancing around each other, being awkward, acting like they don’t know how to act around each other. Which is weird to Jaemin. If Donghyuck was so uncomfortable with Mark moving back in, then why did he agree to it in the first place? And not only that, why did he agree to Mark moving back in with him as his roommate?

Jaemin believes that something might have happened in between when Donghyuck had agreed and Mark moved in, which means that Donghyuck might have changed his mind, or something might have happened between them. Which means he needs to get to the bottom of this. 

Maybe Renjun knows. Even though Jaemin likes to think he knows everything, he always knows that Renjun _really_ knows everything.

“Oh, is that so? So you want me to come so you don’t have to play third wheel with them? What, are they on a date?” Jaemin jokes teasingly, but in reality wants to try teasing out if Renjun knows what’s going on between Mark and Donghyuck.

“You’re so annoying, I’m literally just asking you because you always make a big deal whenever we go out to eat without inviting you,” Renjun says amusedly. 

_Rude_ , Jaemin thinks to himself. _I’ve only made a big deal when it’s Donghyuck who doesn’t invite me, not anyone else. Who is this “we” he speaks of?_

“Why, do you think they’re dating?”

 _God no_ , Jaemin shudders to himself inside. Even if Jaemin supposedly _doesn’t_ love drama, Mark and Donghyuck dating would be too dramatic, even for him. 

Mark, as good-hearted as he is, can also be an absolute mess that goes scatter-brained whenever he tries to process his feelings. Jaemin thinks he’s kind of like a nice robot – nice, but so, so bad at processing what “emotions” are (which Jaemin knows would be remedied if he just listened to E•MO•TION like he’s told him to on multiple occasions).

And Donghyuck...he loves Donghyuck, but sometimes Jaemin wonders if Donghyuck gets a kick out of being as insufferable as he is. And to make matters worse, sometimes he’s that insufferable just to _beat_ Jaemin at his own game. And sure, they are friends, and they do care deeply about each other, but sometimes Donghyuck just gets under his skin (as does he get under Donghyuck’s skin) in ways that no one else in the apartment (or in general) can do. And Donghyuck, dating Mark? Before he even gets the chance to date Mark? Absolutely not. Even if he doesn’t like Mark _that_ way, like hell would he let Donghyuck beat him at the chance at dating Mark Lee – he’s already been trying to take Jeno Lee away from him as a backup, he can’t afford to lose Mark too.

Jaemin crafts his response carefully. “Would that be considered backtalking if I said yes?”

“I don’t know, that’s for you to decide.”

“Okay well, I think so–”

_Over my dead body, they are–_

“–but let’s be real here, Mark’s so obvious I probably would’ve figured it out by now,” Jaemin replies. “He totally would’ve slipped up by now. But I don’t know, there’s this, like, weird energy between them now. Have you noticed that?”

Slightly off-topic, but not so tangential that it would raise any of Renjun’s red flags. He’s gotten the hang of slowly steering conversations to what _he_ wants to get the dirt on, without Renjun getting the idea that he’s fishing for gossip.

“Wait, sorry, I actually need to take a piss really quick, can I put you on mute for like thirty seconds?” Renjun says.

“Yeah, go for it,” Jaemin says, and starts scrolling through his messages to find the contact he’s looking for. He sends a quick preemptive text in his group chat.

_so may/may not have an update on the whole roomie frenemies situation_ : [to dramarama] **Jaemin**

Before he gets a chance to respond, Renjun gets back on the line, and he takes his phone off of speaker mode. “Hey, sorry,” Renjun says. “What were you saying again?”

“Geez, is all that piss affecting your memory or something?” Jaemin quips sarcastically. “We were talking about how weird it is between Mark and Hyuck? Seriously, what’s going on with them? Have you noticed that?” He tries saying it as innocently as possible, even though he just _knows_ Renjun will have the full dirt on what’s happening.

“Dude, I wish I knew,” Renjun sighs, and he sounds tired talking about it. Does this mean Renjun’s noticed it too?

“Mark says he’s noticed it too, how weird Donghyuck has been around him,” Renjun continues. “I think Donghyuck is just trying to, I dunno, avoid another fight or something?”

Alarms start ringing in Jaemin’s head at the word _fight_. Mark and Donghyuck’s fight had been...nasty, to say the least, and the last thing he wants is for this to actually get that serious again. If this isn’t just drama but also _serious_ drama, then Jaemin wants to nip it before it gets that bad.

“Shit, wait, you mean like last time?” Jaemin says, not wanting to relive what was last time. “Are you serious? You think Donghyuck’s mad at Mark again?”

“Yeah, remember how two years ago Donghyuck started acting really weird when Mark joined the U Team?” Renjun asks him. “I’m like, getting similar vibes to that, it’s starting to feel like deja vu with him.”

 _Oh shit_ , Jaemin thinks, suddenly very concerned that this is not something not just petty chit-chat would even begin to explain. He’s starting to regret sending that text in the groupchat, because if this might be a serious fight and Mark and Donghyuck blow up on each other again, he’ll actually cry.

But why? What happened?

“Shit, what do you think happened this time?” he asks Renjun. “Is it because of Mark wanting to room with him and then he had to kick Jeno out to go share a room with you again?”

 _Where the hell did you get that?_ Jaemin thinks to himself. _Come on, don’t turn this into a competitive thing about being Jeno’s best friend, Jeno probably isn’t–_

“Oh, wow, I never even considered that!” Renjun replies.

_Wait, I was right?!_

“You know, Jeno _has_ been acting sort of sad lately. I’ve noticed that he's been a lot quieter and keeping to himself more than usual now that we’re roommates again.”

 _Oh my god, I knew it! I knew Jeno was sad, see, this is why I am Jeno’s best friend, not Donghyuck,_ Jaemin internal-monologues to himself. _What kind of best friend kicks you out of their room so their old roommate can move in?_

He’ll add that to his ongoing list of reasons why he’s Jeno’s best friend instead of Donghyuck.

“Oh my god, I thought I was the only one who noticed that!” Jaemin exclaims. “Yeah dude, Jeno’s been really glum lately.” 

_Jeno’s best friend, Donghyuck? Please,_ Jaemin thinks to himself. _He probably hasn’t even noticed that Jeno’s been acting all moody lately…_

 _...or has he?_ Jaemin suddenly realizes.

“Shit, man, what if Hyuck is starting to feel awkward for kicking him out and he’s like, _resenting_ that he agreed to let Mark be his roommate again?”

“Wait, do you think that’s what’s happening?” Renjun says surprisedly.

“Crap, what if it is?” Jaemin asks. “Fuck, man, I don’t wanna go through another Mark versus Hyuck fight again. Do you remember the last time this happened? That shit fucking sucked.”

“I agree, I definitely don’t want this to happen again,” Renjun says seriously. “Actually, that should be even more of a reason for you to come get dinner with us tonight,” he adds.

 _Shit, what should we do?_ Jaemin wonders. He doesn’t want to have to relive through it again.

“Maybe if we, you know, get them talking to each other, and you crack some jokes or something, it’ll diffuse the tension and Donghyuck will get over it.”

“You think so?” Jaemin says lightly. 

_Me? Being invited to dinner with Donghyuck when he always skips me for dinner invites? Oh, how the turn tables,_ Jaemin thinks gleefully.

“I mean, I’ll go get dinner with you guys, for sure,” Jaemin continues. “But are you sure that’ll help?”

“I think it will,” Renjun affirms. “We just need to get them talking to each other, that’s all. Maybe that’ll encourage Donghyuck to be honest about his feelings to Mark.”

 _That’s...lowkey brilliant,_ Jaemin thinks. He’s always admired Renjun’s ability to think quickly on his feet and come up with solutions to problems they have, whenever they arise. Actually, he hasn’t really gotten the chance to catch up with Mark – especially on his _jealous_ feelings about Donghyuck dating Yeji – and maybe he’s wondering if–

 _Oh my god, what if Mark isn’t over Donghyuck?!?!_ Jaemin exclaims internally.

“Yeah, for sure, we’ll do that,” Jaemin replies. “I think being in a public setting might also encourage them more than if we were just in our apartment.”

 _And I can corner Mark when he goes to the bathroom and confront him on whether he’s over those feelings of jealousy,_ Jaemin thinks to himself slyly.

Because if he’s not, then he can officially start his long-con plan that Renjun’s foiled every step of the way: his plan to get Mark and Donghyuck together, because even _he_ is sick and tired of seeing how obvious it is that Mark’s in love with Donghyuck.

“Yeah, definitely,” Renjun responds. “So, you down to go get some KBBQ with us tonight?”

 _Oh my god, I get to lay my plan_ and _Renjun has no idea about it?_ Jaemin thinks gleefully. _The way I’m about to set my best friends up after Renjun saying for years it was never going to happen...I’ll finally be able to rub it in his face that I was_ right _this entire time, they were totally meant for each other._

“Of course, man!” Jaemin says enthusiastically. “You know how much I love pork belly. Also I really do wanna make sure they don’t fight again. Be a good friend, you know?”

 _But an even better matchmaker,_ Jaemin smirks to himself. _A Gemini and a Leo, it’s a match made in heaven, I just know it…_

 _...wait, why have you never tried dating a Gemini?_ Jaemin questions himself suddenly.

“Definitely,” Renjun agrees. “Also, I’m inviting Kun too, since I’m getting the car from him later today and I figure he’d be down to go with us.”

“Alright, sounds good. Well, I gotta go–”

_Oh, this will DEFINITELY be the highlight of weekly boba gossip time–_

“–but I’ll talk to you later, mmkay? See you tonight,” Jaemin says.

“Gotcha, later dude!” Renjun says casually as he hangs up the call.

Immediately he goes to check his messages and – oh, he really might have underestimated how drama-starved everyone else was in the chat.

dramarama 

**Chaewon** [5 min ago]: _Is this about Mark and Donghyuck?  
_**Seungmin** [4 min ago]: _wait which roommates?  
_**Chaewon** [4 min ago]: _why are they so dramatic lol  
_**Yeji** [4 min ago]: _Jaemin why are you texting me about my ex  
_**Seungmin** [4 min ago]: _is this going to be about you and Donghyuck competing over being Jeno’s bff again  
_**Lia** [4 min ago]: _Jaemin why are you texting Lia about her ex  
_**Heejin’s top** [3 min ago]: _Chae why did u add me to this group chat  
_**Lia** _[3 min ago]: OMG jinx you owe me a soda  
_**YangGANG** [3 min ago]: _OMG IT’S ABOUT MARK MOVING BACK IN ISN’T IT  
_**YangGANG** [2 min ago]: _OMG IS THE DRAMA BC OF DONGHYUCK AGAIN?  
_**Seungmin** [2 min ago]: _wait can someone explain to me what’s happening  
_**YangGANG** [2 min ago]: _I FUCKING TOLD YOU I CALLED IT I KNEW THERE WOULD BE DRAMA OMFG  
_**Shuhua** [1 min ago]: _u guys are so annoying, god bless  
_**Heejin’s top** [1 min ago]: _eat some bread everyone! It’s good for u  
_**Fix-it Felix** [1 min ago]: _shuhua this group is called dramarama, of course we’re all annoying (except me, of course)  
_**Shuhua** [1 min ago]: _lmao  
_**Shuhua** [1 min ago]: _hey Hyunjin  
_**Heejin’s top** [just now]: _who is this “we” you speak of Felix  
_**YangGANG** [just now]: _OMG EVERYONE PLACE YOUR BETS HOW LONG WILL IT BE UNTIL THEY GET INTO A FIGHT  
**Fix-it Felix** [1 min ago]: lol why  
**YangGANG** [just now]: BECAUSE GEMINIS AND LEOS ARE ALWAYS SUCH AN EXPLOSIVE COMBO  
__**Seungmin** [just now]: what does any of that even mean  
_**Seungmin** [just now]: _i am lost  
_**Lia** [just now]: _you’re always lost_

* * *

_Lead to where I can't stop, go there every night_

To say Renjun is furious would be an understatement. 

He’s just found out that Jaemin had texted about Mark and Donghyuck’s “drama” in a group chat, which Shuhua is in. And Shuhua is friends with Yuqi, who’s friends with Yukhei, who then texted him and Yeri about how Jaemin was apparently talking about Mark and Donghyuck having drama in a group chat. And that's all after Yangyang had texted him asking about the current state of affairs in the Apartment 726. 

In all honesty, he probably shouldn’t have expected anything less of Jaemin. He’s known since high school that Jaemin is a huge gossip. Even though he supposedly dislikes drama, Renjun notices how Jaemin is always the first to pounce and learn the “juice”, as he liked to call it. 

However, he’s more pissed at himself for getting power-drunk on trying to scare Mark and Donghyuck into doing the rules, which has only caused problems with Jaemin telling everyone Mark and Donghyuck have drama (which is not the case at all, and Renjun would like to keep it that way, hence the rules). And it’s not like he can tell them that Jaemin backtalked, because then that would mean he fucked up, and then _he_ would be the one blamed and Mark and Donghyuck (but really just Donghyuck) would get mad at him for giving Jaemin the idea.

So, he’s decided to channel that righteous anger into what the PR world calls “damage control”. He’s currently getting out of the passenger’s seat of Kun’s (or his mom’s, really) car, Kun talking to Mark and Donghyuck about the latest life updates on Sicheng, and he busies himself with formulating a plan for damage control. The key is to make sure Jaemin doesn’t say anything, but also not letting Mark and Donghyuck know about Jaemin backtalking. Because if there’s anything that could make this worse, it’s _Donghyuck_ finding out Jaemin backtalked him. 

The absolute last thing he wants is for Donghyuck and Jaemin’s rivalry to flare up again – it’s already exhausting enough listening to them bicker in general. Sure, everyone else might find it entertaining, and in small doses, Jaemin and Donghyuck’s bickering isn’t _that_ bad. But between having to manage his own life and finishing his last semester, helping Mark and Donghyuck with their love life, and not stoking the Donghyuck vs Jaemin rivalry for title of Jeno’s best friend (all this on top of the fact that he’s turning twenty-one in two months and has no idea how to feel about it), Renjun’s got enough to deal with in his life as is.

So, to make sure he enjoys his dinner tonight, and they get there early before Jaemin does (since he’s Ubering from the boba tea shop he was at earlier), he excuses himself to go get something in Kun’s car (he intentionally brought his sweater in, so that he could say he wanted to put it back so it wouldn’t smell like KBBQ), and lo and behold (thanks to Jaemin sending his location to him on the app), he sees Jaemin get dropped off in the parking lot.

“Jaemin!” Renjun calls him.

Jaemin turns around and waves at him. “ _Injunieeee,_ ” he says in his cute aegyo voice, and at this point he can’t be bothered to be annoyed. Because rule number one of damage control: don’t be reactive but proactive. And now for rule number two of damage control: tell the truth, but stretch it out.

“Hey, before we go inside, I need to tell you something,” Renjun says, and he gestures for Jaemin to sit down on one of the waiting list chairs outside. Jaemin takes a seat and looks at him expectantly. 

"What’s up?”

“So, I actually talked to Mark and Donghyuck about their drama,” Renjun replies, and he practically sees the sparks whirring inside Jaemin’s brain. “They were just annoyed at each other because Donghyuck was annoyed with me.”

“Wait, what?”

And now, the breakdown.

“Basically, Mark was mad at Donghyuck for being mad at me,” he tells Jaemin. “Because I said something offhand about Mark moving back in and how that would kind of change the dynamic.”

Technically, it’s not a lie.

_“But you never know–”_

_“No, I do know,” Donghyuck sighed. “I know, because if he felt that way, he would have said something by now. He would have asked me. But he hasn’t, because we’re just friends. And I don’t want to ruin that. Maybe...maybe that’s for the best.”_

_Renjun exhaled disappointedly as they moved forward a bit, stuck in a deadlock as everyone was trying to merge on the offramp for the airport._

_“But what if there’s a chance that he likes you back?” Renjun asked. “What if there’s a chance that you know, he feels the same way as you?”_

_“Then wouldn’t he have said something by now?” Donghyuck responded. “He’s known me for what, three and a half years now? And he hasn’t said anything? It’s not happening. And besides, he’s only here for five days. And then he flies back to New York. And then I’ll still be here in LA, or back in Korea after I graduate. And then what?”_

_“I know, but–”_

_“But nothing, Renjun. Nothing will happen because nothing can. Even if he felt the same, that’s moving way too fast. And I don’t want to do long distance. And it doesn’t matter, because I don’t have those feelings for him anymore,” he said frustratedly. “Can you please drop it? I don’t want to keep talking about this.”_

However, for everyone’s sake, it’s better that Jaemin doesn’t know the whole truth. So, instead of explaining that he made Donghyuck upset at the idea of bringing up being in love with Mark, he explains it as him being concerned that Mark and Donghyuck might get into another fight, which rubbed salt in some wounds. 

Technically, this isn’t a total lie either. He did say as much when he spun that story during his call with Jaemin, much to Donghyuck and Mark’s (quite comical) surprise. Donghyuck _did_ get mad at him for bringing up something related to Mark, and he _did_ tell Mark and Donghyuck (indirectly) that he was concerned they might get into a fight. Jaemin just doesn’t need to know that Point A doesn’t quite connect to Point B.

Even so, Jaemin (as he expected) loves hearing him recount this story, and waits for Renjun to finish telling it before he responds.

“Wait, so they got mad that you brought up that they might get in a fight?” Jaemin said. 

“Well, technically, Donghyuck got mad at me _,_ and then Mark found out what I said and took it seriously and got all embarrassed about it to me.”

“Really?”

Well…

_As he had expected, Mark and Donghyuck had returned to the same parking lot. Predictable, as always. After he and Yeri had gone into the airport to use the bathroom, when they crossed over the breezeway, they had indeed spotted Mark and Donghyuck, much to their smug delight._

_“Oh! Well hello, lovers,” Yeri smirked, being sure to stress the syllables of the last word. “We were wondering when you two were going to get back. Told you they’d come back to the same parking lot, Renjun.”_

_Mark absolutely blanched in response. “WHAT?!”_

_“Oh yeah, we just came back from the bathroom, we both needed to pee,” Renjun said casually._

_“WHAT!? No, I meant, what are you two doing here?!” Mark said incredulously._

_Renjun looked at them with the most absolutely unimpressed expression he could muster, “Oh come on, isn’t it obvious? We followed you guys here, duh.”_

_If it wasn’t for trying to appear nonchalant, Renjun would’ve bowled over laughing at how deeply confused and flustered Mark looked as his eyes wildly flitted between him, Donghyuck, and Yeri._

...not exactly about that, but regardless, an embarrassed Mark is an embarrassed Mark.

“Yeah, he realized that I had a valid concern and well...he kinda just invited himself to move in without asking any of us,” Renjun says, even though it’s all optics at this point, he literally has rules for both of them in place to make sure Mark moving back in (as both their roommate and their roommate’s boyfriend) transitioned as smoothly as possible.

“Oh, wait, so then why did they fight?”

“Well, not really ‘fight’, Donghyuck was just mad that Mark agreed with me, and then Mark didn’t want to say I was wrong or right, so then Donghyuck just got all resentful towards him for a couple of days…”

_“Sorry, bye Haechannie, I love you, see you in a month–”_

_“Mark Lee, if you love me, then you will–”_

_“Bye, guys, love you, we’ll talk about all this later!” Mark said as he rushed past everyone and ran across the bridge to the airport._

_“MARKKK!” Donghyuck yelled. “Mark Lee! This isn’t over! You love me, Mark! You love me and if you love me, then you’re going to tell me why the hell you’re running away from me right now!”_

_“Oh come on, Hyuck, that’s kind of a cheap move, already pulling the ‘if you love me’ card on him? At least wait until it’s been a week or something,” Renjun said matter-of-factly. Dnnghyuck only threw a mean and dirty glance back at him_.

“...and yeah, that’s what happened. We talked about it some more though, after I called you. And they basically made up.”

More or less true. After he waved revealing everything to Jaemin in front of their faces, they had been more than happy to work with Renjun on the rules. So technically, all three of them _did_ make up, and by the transitive property, that meant that Mark and Donghyuck _had_ made up. Even if there was nothing to make up, except these half-truths to Jaemin.

“Oh, well that’s good to hear!” Jaemin says with a smile, although he can tell there’s a slight part of Jaemin that’s disappointed that the drama just fizzled out like that. But Renjun’s only got so much patience to put up with other people’s shit, and Jaemin’s not very high up in that regard.

“Yeah, so...don’t go telling anyone about that, okay?” Renjun says. “I don’t want to get Jeno or anyone else involved, since this was just between me, Mark, and Donghyuck. I didn’t know that what I said made that much of an impact, so we all talked it out and apologized to each other.”

And he is sincere when he says that. None of this has to do with Jeno, as Jaemin had theorized (although admittedly, he sort of ran with it, since he hadn’t expected Jaemin to think of Jeno as the problem), and he doesn’t want Jaemin to cause more problems than needed. However, it’s also lowkey code for: “Stop fucking backtalking about our apartment drama in your goddamn group chat or I’ll personally pluck each hair from your eyebrows individually.” But he and Jaemin have been friends for so long that he knows Jaemin will get the implied meaning to his words.

“Alright, sounds good,” Jaemin nods his head. “Wow...your words, Renjun. The power they have over people.”

Renjun just gives a noncommittal shrug. “What can I say? I guess people want to listen to what I have to say, and take it super personally when I say it.”

“If you speak–”

“I prefer not to speak,” Renjun smiles, grinning at Jaemin playfully.

Jaemin grins back just as widely. “See, this is why Aries and Leos–”

“Okay enough, don’t make this about astrology, I don’t have the time for this,” Renjun swiftly changes the conversation. “Come on, let’s go eat some KBBQ. Mark and Donghyuck are probably busy interrogating Kun, poor kid.”

“Poor kid? Tch, so disrespectful, Injunnie,” Jaemin chides him. “He’s your older brother, show him some respect. If anything he should be calling you the poor kid.”

“Technically I’m five months older than you, and you have yet to show me a single ounce of respect,” Renjun says flatly.

“Hey! I can be respectful when I want to be, and for those who _earn_ my respect,” Jaemin shoots back as he opens the door for him (probably to show respect). “Not saying you haven’t, but you’re also so short-tempered. It’s just _so_ Aries of you to–”

“And it’s just _so_ Na Jaemin of you to always bring up astrology like it’s a personality trait,” Renjun replies, and Jaemin doesn’t know what to say back to that, because it’s both a thinly-veiled insult as well as a self-awareness check Jaemin might need.

“But I don’t–”

“Oh no, trust me, Jaemin,” Renjun smirks as they walk towards the table, “for as much as you say you hate it when people always make everything about astrology, you sure talk about it almost as much as Yangyang talks about that stuff you've got under your bed,” and it's a bit sadistic, bringing that kind of dirt up, especially when Jaemin had no idea he knew about that, but he figures he Jaemin needs a taste of his own medicine.

And that’s the final act of damage control to get Jaemin to stop talking about astrology for the rest of the night, before him and Donhyuck got into it again on whether Tauruses are more compatible with Leos or Geminis (it’s neither, because just like when Ten talks about his "struggles" with being an influencer, Renjun knows astrology’s full of shit). Preventative action is the name of the game, and Renjun knows just how the players play.

Except for one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time: the magic, madness, heaven, sin
> 
> (playlist coming soon!)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)


	2. the magic, madness, heaven, sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: The five times Mark and Donghyuck remember the rules, and the one time they don't.

_I think he knows his hands around a cold glass_

After a long day at work and having back-to-back meetings, Mark wants nothing more than to just crash onto his bed and fall asleep. However, as soon as he gets home, Donghyuck immediately drags him by his sleeves and demands that he get naked, tugging Mark’s coat off him.

“Uh, sorry?” Mark says, a little sleepy, pla little tired, unsure of where this is going. “Can I at least take a nap first before you–”

“You can do that after, come on, I drew us a bath,” Donghyuck replies.

Wait, what?

“What?”

“A bath,” Donghyuck says. “I made a bath for us, Mark.”

Oh.

_Ohhhhh._

“What, did you think–”

“Well...yeah.”

Donghyuck laughs. “Well, anyways, come on, let’s get this coat off of you.”

“A bath?” Mark repeats. “But, uh, I don’t really like the idea of baths, I kinda just want to nap–”

“Come on, Mark, it’ll be nice, and relaxing,” Donghyuck says, smiling a bit. “I even made it all romantic and put up candles and everything. Smells good too.”

“Isn’t that a fire hazard?”

Donghyuck goes from pleasant to annoyed. “Look, I’m just trying to do something nice for you, as your boyfriend, and if you don’t like that, then–”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Mark apologizes sheepishly as he gives him a quick peck on the cheek. “I like anything you do, Hyuck.”

“Even if I go off to enlist?” Donghyuck replies with apprehensive bluntness.

Mark freezes a little. He doesn’t want to think about that right now, and even though this question isn’t rhetorical, Mark isn’t quite ready to face the truth that Donghyuck would have to go back to Korea eventually to complete his enlistment. So, he decides to just swallow his own feelings about it, kisses Donghyuck instead.

He tastes warm and sweet, like sugar and strawberry scents. When he pulls back, he flashes Donghyuck a playful smile.

“Well obviously it was an expression, I won’t like everything you do,” Mark replies evenly. “Also, were you having strawberry milk or something?”

Donghyuck smirks. “You could taste it, huh? Just a bit of strawberry yogurt, I bought six packs of it.”

“Doesn’t Jaemin hate strawberry yogurt?” Mark asks. “He says even the smell makes him nauseous.”

“Well, a little birdie told me he was talking shit about me behind my back, so–”

“Is this about being Jeno’s best friend again–”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” Donghyuck grimaces, “no, stupid, it was about us, he was talking shit about us, thought we were fighting again or something.”

“Oh.”

Mark pauses.

“Are we?”

“No, stupid,” Donghyuck chides him, “we’re not, which is why _backtalking_ will be met with _backacting_ in this apartment.”

“Ah.”

Mark thinks about this for a bit.

“Is it Yop–”

“No, it’s Chobani, you know how much I hate Yoplait, and besides, Jaemin hates Chobani,” Donghyuck snickers. “He’s so annoying about that, Yoplait literally tastes like ass.”

“Should I be offended by that, or–”

“Oh come on, you know what I meant.”

“I still don’t understand what’s so bad about Yoplait,” Mark shakes his head as he unbuckles his belt. “It’s the same flavor as Chobani.”

“Why are me and Renjun the only ones with actual taste buds in this apartment,” Donghyuck fusses. “Seriously, how can you even say that? Have you never tasted real yogurt before?”

“Well, technically you and Jaemin–”

“Okay enough about Jaemin, come on, let’s go take a bath,” Donghuck concludes as he starts to unbutton Mark’s dress shirt.

Indeed, it is pretty nice and relaxing. The bath is warm and pleasant, Mark and Donghyuck sit on opposite sides of the tub, which Donghyuck had gotten extra foamy as bubble clouds peaked just over the top of the tub. He’d also added some flower petals and lit a couple candles, so the air smells floral and sweet. 

“You were right, this is nice,” Mark says, feeling the tension leave his muscles and his stress fade away. It’s soothing, and he’s so happy Donghyuck did this for him. What did he do to deserve him?

“Only because I love you,” Donghyuck replies, and it makes Mark’s heart soar, every time Donghyuck says that he loves him. It never gets old, hearing Donghyuck say those words with such sweet devotion and affection that only Mark gets to hear.

“I love you too,” he replies back softly.

“Come here, turn around,” Donghyuck splashes the bubbles a bit, and Mark obliges, slowly scooting and maneuvering around the tub so his back is turned to Donghyuck. “Let me give you a massage.”

“Have you ever even given massages befo– _ooohhhhhh_...ohhh, that feels so good,” Mark almost moans as Donghyuck begins massaging his shoulder gently, gentle hands slowly easing the tension out of his shoulder blades. “Wow, that feels so good.”

“You’ve been all cooped up at work this week, babe,” Donghyuck chides him. “I figured you’d have a bunch of tension wound up in your back. It’s not good for you, just so you know.”

“Mmmm, you’re one to talk, you should work on your posture, you slouch a lot, Hyuck,” Mark replies, but not very coherently, closing his eyes and living in absolute bliss as he practically melts under the attentive touch of Donghyuck’s fingers. 

“Stop sleeping without a pillow, and I’ll start standing up straight,” Donghyuck teases gently, kissing the junction of Mark’s neck he applies more force and _oh_ right there, a bit of a knot that he’s starting to feel Hyuck knead away, like a baker tenderizing dough, ever so gentle and circular motions having Mark feel so peaceful, so calm, so comfortable with Donghyuck, rosy wisps of candle light emanating throughout the bathroom…

***

It’s a bit of an unusually chilly day in LA, with blustery wind tempering the crisp evening air. Donghyuck feels a bit cold, but it’s okay, because he’s wrapped up next to Mark as they walk towards the restaurant for their date. With Mark so immune to the cold (sometimes he likes to tease Mark and sing to him “the cold never bothered you anyway”), he can snuggle up as close to him as he wants as they walk.

“What’s this restaurant called again?” Donghyuck asks.

“The Mad Nest,” Mark replies. “My coworker suggested it to me, apparently they do a bunch of specialty egg-themed dishes? He says their wafu carbonara is really good!”

“What does wafu even mean?”

“I think it’s just the type of pasta that the Japanese make,” Mark says. “Yuta explained it to me once, back in New York, when he made spaghetti for us one night. Apparently Japanese people have a different way of preparing traditional Italian pasta.”

“Ah, well, Italian-Japanese food is pretty good,” Donghyuck agrees.

“Yeah, ah man, I wish you could’ve been there, it was so good,” Mark says.

A contemplative pause sits between the silence for a bit.

“Do you miss them at all?” Donghyuck says. “Do you miss Taeyong and Yuta and Johnny, back in New York?”

“Of course I do,” Mark says. “I miss them a lot sometimes. They were just really...cool, you know? I love living with you guys, but with them, I felt so...grown up, you know?”

“Technically we’re all grown-ups,” Donghyuck says, huddling a bit closer to Mark as a gust of wind blows through the air. “I mean, I guess Jisung is kind of a baby, but still, legally, he’s now an adult.”

“I never agreed with that,” Mark replies, tone changed to disagreeable all of a sudden. 

“Agreed with what?”

“The idea that you turn into an adult when you’re eighteen,” Mark says. “I dunno, it just seems like such an...archaic standard for measuring what adulthood is. Even now, I still don’t feel much like an adult, to be honest, even though legally, me and Jisung – and you, I guess – we’re all adults.”

“I mean, that’s fair, but also...how else do you determine if you’re an adult? I mean, legally, it makes sense why they do it,” Donghyuck replies as they wait at the corner of a stoplight, cars passing by them in blurry forms and values. “Age is just a social construct, if you think about it.”

“I know, and even the idea of being an adult is, but still...I feel like that’s so much unnecessary pressure, you know?” Mark continues. “I don’t like the idea that you have to grow up. It drives me crazy, the idea of getting old.”

“Really?” Donghyuck asks surprisedly. It surprises him that Mark thinks that, because for as long as he’s known him, Mark has always been driven and ambitious. Always goal-oriented, always working diligently to his next aspiration or attainment. “But you’ve always seemed so…put-together.”

“Put-together?” Mark smiles wryly. “Yeah, I guess, but I don’t know, when I’m with you guys, even though we’re all technically adults, I still don’t feel...old, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that, well, when I lived with Yuta and Johnny and Taeyong back in New York, I felt...older, I guess. Like I was who I thought I would be in ten years, the ideal movie version of me. Living in the big city, having an apartment with friends, being a young professional, all of that. It felt very much like I was...living that life. The life of an adult. A cool person.”

Donghyuck sees where he’s going with this. “But it wasn’t a life that felt like your own.”

“Yeah,” Mark says, wrapping his hand around Donghyuck’s a little tighter. “I just felt like it was me, but it wasn’t really me. You know? It felt like I was living a life I always imagined an adult version of me would have, or me as a grown-up would want. But it felt like something was...missing. Like I was just living a life I had always wanted, not the life...the life that I needed.”

“What was it that felt like it was missing?”

“Well...not to be cheesy, but you,” Mark glances at him, eyes all glossy in the glow of streetlights and bright with a youthful wistfulness. It always sends sparks flying through Donghyuck, whenever Mark looks at him with such elation and warmth.

“Well, you are kind of cheesy,” Donghyuck teases, but he can’t help but smile as he feels a cozy warmth pool in his chest, brightening up even the coldest of days gone by. “But I get what you mean. You missed us.”

“Yeah,” Mark nods. “I missed you guys a lot. I don’t even know what it was, I just...the time I came here for Jisung’s birthday, and the moment I landed and Renjun and Jeno picked me up from the airport, I just felt like...like warm again, you know?”

“Like you’d come back home?”

“Yeah, like that. Like I was missing a part of me that made me feel like I was there. Like I wasn’t just there, you know? I’ve never felt so...so present, in the moment, than when I’m with you, or with you guys.”

“Like you’re not just watching your life go by,” Donghyuck says, realizing this all sounds very familiar. “Because now it feels like you’re actually living it.”

Mark perks up at that. “Yeah! Exactly! How’d you put it in such good words?”

“Well, because this kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with Yeri,” Donghyuck replies. “It was something similar to what you’re talking about, about how you felt so old when you were out in New York but you felt like something felt complete when you came to visit here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I even told her what you told me, about how I sometimes get scared of getting old.”

“Really? When was that?”

“Remember when we all FaceTimed you that one night, when we were playing Catan in our apartment, and you were still back in New York?” Donghyuck recalls. “I think it was last June.”

“Oh yeah! I remember that, wow, that was so long ago,” Mark says. “That was still before Jungeun had moved back to Korea, right?”

“Yeah. Although I’ve heard that she might move back here, I heard from Jeno that she has an interview with a firm based out here.”

“Oh, wow. We could have...a bit of a mini-reunion, I guess,” Mark muses. He realizes that he and his old apartment mates hadn’t all been together ever since he’d left for New York. “So...what exactly were you and Yeri talking about?” Mark’s always curious to hear what Yeri has to say. After all, it’s only because of her advice that he ended up with Donghyuck in the first place, and didn't give up after their fight over two years ago now.

“Well, I’ll just tell you what she told me…”

...It wasn’t a particularly significant day, anything out of the ordinary. Junior year of college had just ended two weeks ago, but he, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin still felt exhausted and burnt out from how stressful and busy their spring semester had been. It wasn’t like they’d get a break either, as all of them had jobs, classes, or internships lined up that would start soon, for some of them as soon as a couple of days.

To make the most of their free time with each other, they’d decided to relax and have a night playing board games. Jisung had invited Chenle to come, and Renjun had invited Mark’s old roommates over, and they’d all FaceTimed with Mark for a bit to catch up with him and his life in New York. Afterwards, Jungwoo and Jaemin had mentioned that they’d been hungry, and so Yeri, Jungeun, Jeno and Donghyuck had decided to make a run to the In-N-Out for everyone. 

Yeri and Jungeun chatted in the front, while Jeno and Donghyuck sat in the back. For some reason, Donghyuck felt a bit discontent that night. Jeno took notice, as their conversation died down, but Donghyuck didn’t feel like keeping it going, and so they had sat in silence for a bit while Yeri and Jungeun kept talking.

“Hey, you okay?” Jeno asked him, the shadows of streetlights illuminating his outline. “You’ve been kind of quiet ever since we got off the call with Mark.”

Yeri and Jungeun’s conversation started dying down, Jungeun turning behind to look at them and Yeri glancing at them from time to time in the driver’s seat.

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m just...tired, I guess,” Donghyuck sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just...it sucks, getting old,” Donghyuck replied. “Mark graduated last semester, and now Yeri and Jungeun–” he gestured to the two of them sitting in the front– “and just...this isn’t forever. We’re gonna have to graduate, and then college is over, and then what?”

“But we’ve always known this was gonna happen,” Jeno said. “Why’s it bothering you now?”

“Because...it makes me realize how much I missed Mark being with us,” Donghyuck sighed. “And then when I realize Jungeun’s going back to Korea after this summer is over, it reminds me that you and me, we’re going to have to go back eventually for enlistment. And then what? It’s...it’s going to suck, having to be separated from everyone for two years.”

“Is it the physical proximity you miss?” Yeri asked him. “Do you miss being in the same room with Mark? Or is it something else?”

“No, it’s not even just that, it’s just...it’s just, it feels like something is missing when he’s not there,” Donghyuck said reluctantly. “And it makes me think...it makes me think about how we’re growing up. And we can’t always live in this moment forever, you know? I wish...I wish every night could be like this one. Just fun, and not having to worry about the future. When everything is missing.”

“Why are you so worried about the future though?” Jungeun asks. “You have your internship lined up for the next couple months, and aren’t the six of you all going on a road trip up to NorCal sometime this summer? That sounds like a pretty fun future to me.”

“It’s...I don’t know, ever since Mark graduated, it makes me realize that I miss the moments when we can all be together,” Donghyuck said. “That’s what I mean, when I’m scared of the future. That eventually it’ll get to the point where we’ll never get to all be together again. You know? That’s what scares me. That I’ll always feel like something is missing.”

“Hmmm,” Jungeun hummed. “I get that. A lot of my friends...they’ve graduated now, and while we still keep in touch, it definitely isn’t the same as getting to hang out with them.”

“Are you talking about Haseul and Sooyoung?” Yeri asked.

“Kahei too,” Jungeun added. “I mean, Jinsoul is still here, so it’s fine, but...yeah, we’ll have to start doing long distance, when I move back to Korea.”

She paused.

“I was thinking it might...it might just be easier to break up with her,” Jungeun confessed, sounding a bit heartbroken. “Or if we just...I don’t know. I don’t want to say take a break, because I don’t think it’ll end well. But...I don’t know, I just can’t see long distance working for us.”

Yeri rubbed Jungeun’s shoulder tenderly. “It’s hard, Lippie. I get it, I really do. But just...just think about what I said, and really think about it, okay? Or at least talk to her. I’m sure she thinks about this just as much as you do.”

Jungeun sighed again, slumping a bit into the back of her seat. “But it still sucks. And you know, I get what you mean, Donghyuck. We _are_ getting old. And life isn’t getting any simpler, it’s just...it’s just getting so fucking complicated,” she said. “And it sucks, that you can’t even stay in place for a bit, just enjoy it. Life just moves so fast. It feels like it was yesterday when we first started going out and now...now I feel like it’s coming to an end. And I’m going to miss her, and how easy...how easy this was, before, you know, the real world happened.”

“I’m...I’m sorry,” Donghyuck said quietly in a small voice.

Jungeun looked at him with a sympathetic smile. “Don’t be sorry, Hyuck. It’s not your fault that me and Jinsoul have to work things out.”

She looked out the window forlornly. “I just hope we’re both okay with how it ends up working out.”

“No, I’m just...I’m sorry, for making you think about everyone, us, getting old,” Donghyuck sighed. “It’s just...it’s just been on my mind for awhile, this...this kind of void, ever since Mark left. It’s easy to ignore, most of the time, but sometimes...sometimes, it’s really hard to ignore when you feel like a piece of you is missing.”

He wasn’t sure why he called Mark a missing piece of himself, but in retrospect, it’s because he was too scared to admit how much he loved Mark at the time, and was looking for something, _someone_ , to fill that void in his heart.

There was a pause, a bit of tense silence in the car.

Yeri broke it.

“So don’t ignore it,” she said.

All three of them looked at her a bit surprisedly. “What?”

“Don’t ignore it,” Yeri repeated again. “I know it sucks you guys, but let’s face it. We can’t be teenagers forever. We can’t be college students forever. That’s just not how life works, you know.”

“I know, but I just meant–”

“That you’re scared of life changing when you get older, that those euphoric feelings you have, you won’t have them once you have to become an adult,” Yeri said. “You’ll become a part of the workforce, start having to file your taxes, worry about insurance and healthcare. Relationship drama, waters get testy, sometimes it doesn’t work out for the best. I know, Donghyuck. I used to have those fears too. But it’s okay. You grow out of them.”

“But what if I don’t?” Donghyuck says. “What if...what if I just can’t grow out of it? What if I’m always scared of...of losing these memories, missing this time, growing old?”

“You don’t have to necessarily grow out of it,” Yeri smiled. “You don’t have to be scared of growing old.”

“Didn’t you just say that he would, though?” Jeno asked.

“Mmmm, not necessarily.” She paused a bit. “Actually, can I ask you both something?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you miss high school?”

“Hmmm...well, yes, and no,” Jeno replied. “I don’t really miss the work.”

“Oh absolutely not,” Donghyuck grimaced, thinking back to it. “It was literally hell on earth. I hated going to the _hagwons_ so much. But I guess...Heejin, Hyunjin, Jeno, they all made it kind of bearable, you know? And that’s how I got through it.”

“So would you say you don’t miss the _work_ of high school, but maybe the times and memories you had with your friends?” Yeri asked.

“That’s a good way to put it,” Jeno said. “Although I don’t know how that really helps, or explains what you meant. I feel like me and Donghyuck both knew we liked the friends we made in high school, and the fun memories instead of like, the actual work.”

“Because that’s what I mean when I talk about growing up,” Yeri smiled, gently pressing the break as they approached a red light on a left turn. “All these adult problems that get saddled on you, that’s part of growing old. It’s how society works. The older you get, the more responsibilities you have. Even if there were no society, it’s how life goes. Everything gets old. Even the universe will get old one day.”

“Well, I know that,” Donghyuck sighed. “I know I’m going to grow old, Yeri. That’s what I’m so afraid of. I’m afraid that there won’t be times like this again...because youth is so fleeting. That at the end of the day...we all have to get old.”

“But that’s the secret, Hyuck,” Yeri replied. “You _are_ going to grow old. But to quote what someone said, growing _old_ is mandatory. Growing _up_ is optional.”

“What’s the difference? They’re the same thing.”

“The difference is that you don’t _have_ to lose your youth,” Yeri said. “You don’t have to lose Mark, or your friends. Yeah, things change. People change. But you two are still friends with Heejin and Hyunjin, right? And even through all the distance, we all still loved talking to Mark tonight, right?”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this,” Jeno said with uncertainty.

“I’m going to In-N-Out,” Yeri joked. “But really, I’m going on a small little talk about time. And this applies to you and Mark, or Jinsoul and Lippie, really anyone who feels like they’ve reached the time.”

“And what’s that?”

“Those moments you crave, those moments you want to live in forever, that you feel are missing, you can’t have them forever. You can’t, because they’re just that, moments,” Yeri said. “All moments fade. Mark graduates. Lippie has to move back to Korea. Distance and space happens. And eventually, what was once there slowly fades away. Time erodes everything. Nothing withstands time.”

“And it’s depressing,” Donghyuck sulked. “Fuck, how depressing is that. That you’ll never get those moments back again. That it’s all meaningless.”

It just made him miss Mark even more, made him realize how much he wished he would have spent more time with Mark when he was still here, value how much Mark meant to him.

“But it’s not.”

Those three words shocked him out of his self-pity.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Yeri said as she turned onto the street. “Yes, moments fade. But you know what won’t fade? When the moments are that strong?”

“What?”

“Memories.”

Donghyuck paused on that for a bit, to think about it.

“Memories?”

“Yes, memories. And if those moments really are as impactful as you think they were, as they are, as they will be...then they’ll last forever.”

Donghyuck and Jeno both looked at each other with confused expressions. Jungeun’s eyes softened a bit, in the glow of the street lights and dashboard.

“Sorry, I don’t quite follow,” Donghyuck said. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you can’t live in the moments you love,” Yeri replied. “This moment, it too will pass. This conversation will never happen again, because it’s a moment – unique to you and me, and then it’ll never come again. And yeah, you might miss this moment. Just like you miss the others you remember.”

He didn’t know why, but it struck a chord somewhere deep in Donghyuck’s heart, hearing Yeri say that.

“But if it’s a moment where you truly felt like you lived, like your life was _complete_ and full, then you’ll never forget it,” Yeri continued. “You never forget those moments. And those moments turn into memories, because they meant so much to you. And as long as you have those memories, sometimes forever, then you’ll know every day how you want to live your moments, because you’ll know what it feels like when you’re alive, because you _do_ feel complete.”

It was like the world faded to rosy dimly lit shadows, but even through the fuzziness, Yeri’s words cut clear through him.

“Because memories...they stay,” Jungeun added softly, sinking a bit into the passenger seat. “Me and Jinsoul...even if...even if it does end, at least I’ll have been lucky enough to have loved her.”

“Exactly,” Yeri said. “I know it’s not easy, you guys. It’s not easy, having to let go of things, to let go of your youth, or your friends, or your loved ones.”

 _Loved ones._ The words echoed in Donghyuck’s mind. Why did he keep thinking about Mark as that, as a loved one?

“But if you really love someone, if you really love and live in those moments, then you won’t ever forget them, and you’ll remember how much they mean. And nothing, not even old age or time, can take those moments away from you. Because yeah, you may miss those times. It’s natural..”

She paused a bit.

“And yeah, even if it is natural, it sucks. Feeling like someone’s missing. Like your youth is missing. Fuck.”

Another pause.

“I miss Mark a lot too.”

A bit of silence before she spoke again.

“But...he did what was best for him, and we have to be happy for him, right? And you can still find happiness, in those memories,” Yeri said, and the three of them all had their eyes on her, all listened to her intently. “People come and go. But those feelings you have, with the people you care about? Like the ones you miss when you’re with Mark? Or Jinsoul? They’ll always be there.”

“They...they will?” Jeno said. “What if you forget?”

“They will,” Yeri nodded her head. “And as long as you’re here on earth, you’ll never forget them, and you’ll keep finding those moments in your life, whether it’s with Mark, or Jinsoul, or someone else. It’s only up to you to figure out who completes those moments for you. And those moments? Yeah, they’ll grow _old_ , just like you will. But the ones you cherish the most will never _outgrow_ you. Because you don’t have to give them up. You don’t have to forget.”

A small smile.

“Because...because growing old, and growing _up_ , that doesn’t mean memories fade away. Just because you miss old times doesn’t mean those times never existed at all. And if you think they’re missing, well...we go make new ones, to fill those voids.”

Another pause.

“I mean, think about it. You miss Mark,” Yeri said. “We all miss Mark. But we all had fun tonight, no? We’re getting In-N-Out for our friends at 11:45 PM. All after staying up late, playing games, boozing a bit, and chatting with Mark. And I’m sure he misses us too. But those voids, you filled them. And even if–” she gave Donghyuck an intentional glance – “even if we miss those moments, doesn’t mean something is missing from us entirely. Because...well, I don’t know about you, but tonight...I feel pretty complete, don’t you?...”

“...I guess this was all to say...what Yeri told me, and now having...well, having you, it made me realize that maybe...maybe you do complete me,” Donghyuck says tenderly, curling his fingers around Mark’s hand even tighter, holding onto his person closer. “Because she was right. In that moment, I felt like I was living, like I did have something worth happening in my life, even if it was only a conversation with her. And I still remember that conversation, even now. I didn’t forget it.”

He stops walking for a bit, holding Mark in place, and looks him in the eyes, those soft, glowing eyes. The soft, glowing eyes he fell in love with two years ago during a Christmas holiday, the ones he’s still in love with now, two years later. 

“And you know what? Every moment, all the time I spend with you...it makes me feel like I’m living every moment of my life, like it’s a complete one, something I won’t ever forget,” Donghyuck smiles. “Like it’s not just passing me by. Like I am here, with you, in my own life. And not just you, but when you’re with all of us too. I love...I love you, both as my friend, and as...well, a loved one, I guess.”

“Loved one?” Mark repeats tenderly, softly.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck nods his head a bit. “That’s...that’s what Renjun said, when I...when I finally admitted to him why I was so sad that you were graduating, the day it was your ceremony and me and him didn’t go…”

_I’m not saying anything, it’s too late,” Donghyuck said. “And you! You’re not saying anything either. If any of this gets out I swear–”_

_“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Renjun recited as he crossed his heart with his index finger. “Like I said, I won’t tell anyone. Promise.”_

_Donghyuck sighed. “Then why, why are you doing this? Why are you asking me?”_

_“I just...I just wanted to know why you seemed so miserable,” Renjun said softly. “I mean, I’m sad about Mark leaving and graduating too, but you...you’re really sad about it, Hyuck. It’s like you just lost a loved one. Someone you loved. And well, that’s...that’s why I asked.”_

_“But–”_

_“I’m not doing this to tell Jaemin, or anyone, or to use it against you, or try and get you and Mark together,” Renjun continued. “I just want to be there for you, okay? I just want to help you feel better, and do what I can, as your friend, okay? You can trust me, Hyuck.”_

_“I...thanks, Renjun,” Donghyuck said, sighing heavily as he sank into the living room couch. Renjun sat down next to him and hugged him tightly, rubbing his hand across Donghyuck’s back._

“Oh.” Mark’s breath hitches a bit.

“...So then I’m...it’s like we feel complete, because we love each other. And even if, you know...something comes up–”

And by something, Donghyuck means his eventual enlistment–

“–and things get in the way...and I miss being with you, it doesn’t mean I’ll lose those moments I shared with you,” Donghyuck says, a sheepish expression on his face.

“Oh…” Mark still can’t process it, how Donghyuck’s words always make his mind feel like he’s wandering galaxies, endlessly expanding like the fringes of the universe, until Donghyuck pulls him back, like a shining star lighting the way back home. “I...you...I complete you.”

“And I hope that maybe, back here, I can help you find those moments that complete you too,” Donghyuck says as he kisses Mark quickly and lightly and tenderly, lips so warm even in the chilly air of a winter’s night. “Because whether it’s with me, or all of us, or someone new, I know that when you feel like you’re living your life...I feel like I am too. I...I’m happy whenever I see you light up, Mark. Because when I see you like that, it...well, you...you...you kind of light me up too.”

“Oh.”

It’s so simple of a response, but it’s because Mark truly doesn’t know what else to say.

So instead, he gives.

He gives Donghyuck a quick kiss, and even if it’s so simple, so understated, and so cliche, it’s entirely different than all the others, says everything he wants to say to Donghyuck and more, feels so lucky to be in love with his best friend, his loved one too.

***

For as much as Donghyuck sometimes finds domesticity loathsome, there’s something incredibly sweet about sharing a meal with someone, even more so when it’s a meal you prepared for them.

Sure, maybe he’s all in his feelings because he’s been watching a couple of cooking shows with Renjun on Netflix, and they all recently watched Ratatouille for their movie night last weekend. But even so, Donghyuck had decided earlier today that he wanted to make Mark lunch, and that’s how he ended up spending this class-free Friday (one of the many things that he loves about his last semester in college) going to the farmer’s market early in the morning to buy produce.

He decided it would be a nice surprise for Mark when he came home, so he decided to make it extra romantic. He set the mood and shuffle-played an indie tunes playlist on Spotify, and had bought a flower bouquet at the farmer’s market as well. Currently he’s peeling some carrots for the gyeran-jjim, and afterwards he’ll slice and dice some onions for both that and the doenjang jjigae. The rice cooker slowly vents steam out, and according to the timer it should be done in about fifteen minutes, which is just enough time for him to wash up after he’s done cooking, change clothes, and look nice for Mark.

Mark and Jaemin always liked to talk about romantic gestures or ideas, for some reason always revolving around a specific aesthetic about being somewhere in northern Italy during the 1980s with high-waisted board shorts and fresh peaches from the market. Why it was always that specific aesthetic, Donghyuck doesn’t know, but he’s tried his best to imagine what 1980s northern Italy would look like. He got Renjun’s old record player out (he had texted Renjun if he could use it and had his blessing) and put on one of his Billie Holiday records. He’d opened the living room blinds so more dappled sunlight could shine in with beaming rays and cast soft shadows. And he’d even taken an old picnic blanket out of the storage closet (also Renjun’s) to set the table. Sure, the meal wasn’t exactly classic Italian or French food, but Donghyuck figures as long as the setting is right, who cares if the place smells like sesame oil and doenjang? 

He pauses a bit from meal-prepping to look at the kitchen table. Bouquet of wintery flowers in a vase, a red-and-white plaid tablecloth draped over the wood. An old Billie Holiday song playing on the record player. He’d even gotten some of the cheap three-dollar wine from Trader Joes that Jaemin liked, put it on the table next to two wine glasses. Sunlight filtering in, giving a soft aesthetic glow to the whole scene. Kitchen smelling like fresh produce, stovetop slowly heating up oil and water in pots and pans, the sounds of expectation and anticipation of Mark to come home from his half-day today.

Donghyuck really never pictured himself to be the type to enjoy domesticity, but for some reason, the idea of Mark coming home soon, and sharing this lunch with him, while the apartment’s all set and lit aglow with romantic touches, it makes his heart flutter a bit too much.

* * *

_Make me wanna know that body like it’s mine_

Sloppy, messy, irrational. Haphazard, really.

Mark’s on his lunch break, and he’d taken Donghyuck with him to work today. Well, more like Donghyuck had gone to a coffee shop nearby to do some work (he can’t exactly have his boyfriend up in Spotify’s offices during working hours) while Mark had been busy with meetings that morning. However, one of Mark’s meetings had ended earlier than expected, so he’d texted Donghyuck to come up and visit him, chill out with him for a bit before they went to get lunch later.

Except, well...one thing led to another, and now they’re currently making out in one of the bathroom stalls on the first floor of the building.

It’s not right, really. Technically, this could be considered an HR violation. Maybe multiple violations. If he _really_ wants to think about it, this might be slightly unsanitary too. And, well, morally speaking, this isn’t right, because it feels so...sinful, to be so blaise, so willing to give into his own vices, Donghyuck being so many of those.

But who cares about any of that, when Donghyuck’s kissing him like he’s been starved for attention, so hungry for Mark’s lips against his own, and their breaths becoming a bit haggard with each passing moment. 

There’s a thrill, a sense of _excitement_ running through him at how dangerous this all is, Donghyuck carding his fingers through Mark’s hair, Mark wrapping his hands around Donghyuck’s back even tighter as they kiss deeper, harder, faster, rougher. It’s downright dangerous, how intoxicating Donghyuck is when he gets like this. And Mark can’t get enough, would risk it all, even in a bathroom stall at his own workplace, but what can he do? 

Because it’s Donghyuck, and who is he to deny such devastation, not when it’s pressed against his lips, running its hands through his hair, breathing shallowly with the same oxygen they’re both seeking, the thrill of it sending adrenaline through his veins, making him feel so alive, making him feel so sensitive…

***

Mark doesn’t consider himself a very risky person. In general, he would consider himself pretty risk-averse, because he works hard for what he does and what he has, and he would rather not do anything to jeopardize that.

If Mark was more of a risk-taker, it probably wouldn’t have taken him three years to finally admit that he not only liked Donghyuck, but also loved him. If Mark didn’t pride himself in having so much self-control and respect for himself and others, he would not be so mild-mannered and humble (save for the sporadic occasion when he got drunk, or when Donghyuck and or Jaemin truly annoyed the ever-living crap out of him). If Mark was into risky business, he probably would’ve gotten into investment banking, like Jaehyun. Or become an intelligence analyst, like Sicheng. Certainly not a steady, stable, and stereotypical 9 to 5 job at a company like Spotify.

By contrast, Donghyuck’s sort of the opposite. Donghyuck takes risks, takes a chance on things. It was Donghyuck who took a risk and moved to LA by himself the summer before he started college, taking classes and knowing no one here but Taeil. It was Donghyuck who confronted him first about problems they had, which is what had gotten them in their first huge fight two years ago. It was Donghyuck who chased after him in the airport, took a chance and kissed Mark, confessed his feelings without knowing what would happen next.

It’s a push and pull, Mark thinks. Mark pushes Donghyuck to be more cautious, more reasonable, more rational, think things out and carefully consider the weight of actions. Donghyuck pushes Mark to be more open, more risky, more spontaneous, go with your gut instinct and trust your own feelings as much as your thoughts.

Today, Mark’s decided to be much more than risky – he’s decided to also be risque.

And so, while Donghyuck’s currently out having lunch with a friend, Mark is currently at home waiting for him to get back. Deciding he wants to take a risk, spice things up, be the spontaneous one today – the way Donghyuck was spontaneous and grabbed him by the tie in Spotify, opened and then locked a stall in the bathroom, and just started making out with him.

Feeling a bit aroused at the thrill of the thought, and seeing that there’s flowers in the vase on the kitchen table, Mark decides to do a little risque business.

He’s never really...done this, all things considered. In fact, if he were to do this, he’d think himself drunk out of his mind. But these are some completely sober thoughts Mark has, and he likes that. He likes that Donghyuck pulls at him in a way he usually doesn’t feel himself gravitating towards.

So that’s how Mark finds himself propped up on his bed, all clothes discarded save for his long black business socks and his favorite striped red-gold tie around his neck. He texts a picture to Donghyuck, just of the tie around his collarbones, a red rose suggestively pressed up against it, and a caption saying “roses are red, violets are blue, come home soon, there’s something waiting for you ;)” to Donghyuck.

It’s not quite...sexting. Mark’s not the type to send nudes, because just the thought of it makes him flush with embarrassment. But something about this...something about it just sends _want_ crawling through Mark’s body, he _wants_ Donghyuck here, he _wants_ Donghyuck now, he _wants_ Donghyuck to be home. Feels absolutely _greedy_ for his love.

And so, to position himself in the most wanton and wanted way possible, he lies against the head of the bed, tie hanging down his bare chest, the rest of his body exposed saved for the socks and the flower vase, which he strategically places between his legs. He angles it perfectly so that when Donghyuck rushes home, feels high from the picture Mark sent, and then walks into their room, he will see Mark here, with nothing but flowers and a tie on, and Donghyuck will _want_ nothing more than Mark, and only Mark.

And the thought of Donghyuck _wanting_ him like that, it sets Mark aflame, makes him tingle with anticipation as he feels adrenaline sending a hot, heavy rush of wantonly shameless sensation running through his entire being, waiting there on his bed...

***

It’s a Saturday afternoon. Mark and Donghyuck are lounging on the couch, both of them feeling rather deflated from how the past couple of weeks has gone for the both of them.

“Maybe Renjun was onto something when he was making the rules,” Mark says absentmindedly, staring up at the ceiling. “I mean...have you noticed that since we haven’t been following them, we’ve been cutting it kinda close?”

“Well, at least it’s _Renjun_ who knows and not Jaemin,” Donghyuck tries to see the silver lining to it. “Can you imagine if it was Jaemin who made these rules and knew all this, and not Renjun? God, I wouldn’t be able to live with his gloating, ugh–”

“Hey, come on, Jaemin’s not that bad–”

“No, you don’t get to talk, he is the absolute _worst_ ,” Donghyuck groans.

“You know, you can both be Jeno’s best friend–”

“Absolutely not,” Donghyuck snaps annoyedly, throwing a pillow at Mark’s face, to which Mark only sighs into. “The fact that he thinks he can just _waltz_ right into our lives and suddenly thinks he’s an even better friend to Jeno than I am? As if.”

“This is such a stupid reason for you guys to have a frenemy rivalry–”

“It’s _not_ a rivalry, he just needs to let go of his pride,” Donghyuck retorts.

“You know, he was one to help me out, and heard me out the most, when we fought,” Mark reminds him. “He really helped me out, and was supportive of, well….everything.”

“Okay, and he also used to use your desk for his random Tinder hook-ups from time to time, your point is?”

“Hey, come on, you made it sound way worse during Friendsgiving than it actually was, I talked to him about that and he said it was only one time on accident–”

“And that somehow justifies it?” Donghyuck huffs irritatedly. “Why are you defending him? He’s so...look, I like Jaemin. Obviously, if I actually hated him, we wouldn’t be living together. I genuinely care about him, and I like being his friend. But holy shit, Mark, he’s such a fucking Leo sometimes, I swear.”

“Wait, Jaemin actually talked about this and how this is an excuse,” Mark replies. “Since technically I’m a Leo...I think? Because I was born in August?...anyways, he said that you get along with me just fine, but when it comes to you and him–”

“Why are we even talking about him anyways?” Donghyuck snaps annoyedly. “Are you dating him? No, you’re dating _me_ , so why did you bring him up?”

“Uh...you’re the one who brought him up originally.”

“I was not–”

“It was about how it would be worse if it was Jaemin who knew instead of Renjun–”

“You know what, maybe I do hate all Leos,” Donghyuck exhales exasperatedly as he gets up. “I don’t need this kind of backtalk from you.”

But not before Mark gets up and pulls him back onto the couch on top of him.

“Hey, come on, you know I love you,” Mark teases with a playful voice and Donghyuck can’t help himself, he gets a bit dizzy seeing how affectionate Mark becomes with him.

“You were annoying me,” Donghyuck replies back, trying to sound annoyed, but he can’t stop the smile spreading across his face. “I was trying to give you some attitude for it.”

“Well, maybe you can give me something else?” Mark giggles cutely before he starts kissing Donghyuck, and before he knows it, they’re both making out on the couch, and why is this so hot?

Jisung feels very groggy.

He huffs tiredly, lets out a bit of a constipated breath, and then tries to fall back asleep.

No luck, he suddenly feels a bit of pressure on his bladder and he knows it might be time to pee.

Sighing, still half-asleep, he feels around for his phone in his bed. Finds it under his pillow, checks the time.

2:53 PM. Wow, he really needs to fix his sleeping schedule.

Still not completely awake, he scrolls through his notifications – just some messaging back and forth between Donghyuck, Renjun and Jeno in their apartment group chat, Donghyuck asking if anyone was home. He would text back, say that he’s home, but feeling lazy, and not really in the mood to open his phone, he decides to get up out of bed. Besides, at this point they all know he usually doesn’t wake up until 3 PM on Saturdays.

As he pushes the covers off, his brain registers a bit of voices in his head. Strangely enough, they sound like Mark and Donghyuck, and sound like they’re coming from the living room.

He doesn’t know why he thinks that’s strange. It’s just Mark and Donghyuck. They’re probably just being stupid, like they usually are.

Not that Jisung has room to talk, having slept through half the day.

He slips on a baggy sweatshirt, grabs for his glasses on his desk, and then goes to open the door. Mark and Donghyuck’s voices sound a bit clearer now, sounds like they’re having an argument about Jaemin. Or at least, he heard Jaemin’s name mentioned. He thinks? At this point, Jisung feels foggy in the brain, and he knows as soon as he goes to take a piss, his mind will feel a lot more clear.

Of course, all that’s upturned on its head when Jisung barely opens the door a crack and hears what sounds like tongue-on-tongue action. Or, two people making out.

Immediately, that thought registers into his mind and scandalizes Jisung awake.

 _Holy shit_ , Jisung thinks, _holy shit, did Donghyuck ask if anyone was home so he could hook up with someone?!_

Wait.

 _Holy shit, that’s so gross, Mark is home too, and he’s doing this when me and Mark are home?!_ Jisung protests.

“This is so wrong,” Jisung mutters as he opens the door just by a crack to catch Donghyuck red-handed, and then proceed to embarrass him in front of whoever he brought home, seriously, at least be considerate of the fact that they all sit on the living room couch–

_Wait._

WAIT.

_THAT’S NOT–_

THAT’S NOT

_OH MY GOD_

OH MY GOD

_MARK_

MARK

_MARK AND DONGHYUCK?!?!?!_

Jisung covers his mouth for five seconds to stop himself from shrieking loudly, and then immediately shuts the door as quickly and quietly as possible before collapsing onto the floor against his door.

_WHAT THE FUCK_ , he screams internally, _WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK MARK AND DONGHYUCK?!?!??!?!?!_

Mark and Donghyuck.

Mark and Donghyuck.

OH MY GOD.

Mark and Donghyuck?!?!?!?

He’s going to pass out.

Why, why did he have to wake up?!?!

_What the hell, Park Jisung, why didn't you sleep in?!_ Jisung cries to himself internally. _Why didn't you just sleep in?!?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time: the next mistake
> 
> (playlist coming soon!)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)


	3. the next mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or: The five times Jisung doesn't, and the one time Jisung's real eyes realize real lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been awhile! Hope you enjoy this latest update :)

_He got that boyish look that I like in a man_

In retrospect, Jisung realizes that he should’ve seen this coming, because really, all the signs had been laid out in front of him (some quite literally, unfortunately), right in plain sight.

He had never thought that Mark and Donghyuck would be dumb enough to hook up with each other. Had Renjun never lectured them on this before? _Never_ try sleeping with your roommate. It never ends well. He’s heard enough lectures from Renjun and Jaemin about that, all the horror stories they had about friends who tried dating friends they lived with, how it never ends well.

Then again, Jisung realizes he might’ve been slow to catch on, since he hadn’t exactly been thinking of his roommates (and friends) as hooking up with each other.

After all, it’s not like he’s a detective on _Criminal Minds_ here, he’s just a junior in college trying to make the most of his academic career double majoring in cognitive science and dance.

Getting a double major isn’t exactly what he or his parents wanted. Jisung comes from a long family tradition of musicians and doctors, and as the old saying went in their family, if it’s not music you play, then get a job that pays.

However, Jisung’s never really excelled in playing instruments, medical or musical. He doesn’t have the chops to be a classical opera singer and professor, like Aunt Luna (who also happens to be Donghyuck’s advisor, funnily enough). He doesn’t have the ear (or drive, really) to fight it to the top of the music industry and become a sought-after producer, like his older brother Chanyeol. And he most certainly isn’t going to become an award-winning neurosurgeon (and director of the neurology department) like his cousin Jinyoung.

What he does have is a passion for dancing. Ever since he was little, he’s always loved to dance, and he wishes his parents would be more understanding of that.

So, that’s how Jisung somehow finds himself majoring in cognitive science, which is STEM-adjacent enough to appease his parents, but still barely flexible enough that he had time to be on a dance team and do the double major. Admittedly, it was definitely more work than it was worth, and his first semester in college he would have dropped out, had it not been for Renjun…

...Jisung’s first day of college started today and he was already struggling to find a seat. Because attendance for the first lecture was mandatory to keep enrollment in this class, and Jisung was on the waitlist as is, he knew he needed to show up – little did he know, so did the other four hundred-plus people trying to keep their spot in Intro to Cognitive Science. 

Hi, is this seat taken?” a shy, clueless Jisung had asked the boy sitting one seat away from the aisle seat. Normally, he wouldn’t be bothered to ask. But seeing as how the whole place was packed like sardines and he didn’t really want to sit on the floor in his first college class ever, he was feeling rather desperate. And as they say, desperate times called for desperate measures.

“No, it’s not,” the boy sitting one seat away said.

“Ah, cool, okay,” Jisung said as he sat down and started pulling out the table. Except–

“Hey, why’s this desk on the left side?”

“Uh...because it’s a left-handed desk,” the boy he was now sitting next to said.

“Why’s this one left-handed, though?”

“Because it’s on the left side of the lecture hall?” the boy sitting next to him said.

“Oh.”

That would make sense.

“Sorry, I guess I don’t really know that much about lecture halls,” Jisung said, trying to make small talk, but it was really awkward, and then–

“Hi, I’m Jisung,” he tried, feeling a bit intimidated.

“Renjun,” the boy sitting next to him responded, albeit not very friendly, but at least not unfriendly.

“Renjun,” Jisung repeated, Renjun’s name sounding a bit strange on his mouth.

“It’s Chinese, if you were wondering,” Renjun said.

“Oh, that’s...neat!” Jisung said.

 _Idiot, idiot, idiot, why are you so awkward?_ Jisung internally groaned.

“Neat?” Renjun repeated.

“Uh...I don’t know what I’m trying to say, I guess, just–”

“Are you a freshman?” Renjun asked pointedly.

Jisung felt like he was about to die from embarrassment. His first day on campus, and he was already fucking up his first social interaction. Great. “Well, I guess, technically, yeah, this is my first college class today, well technically, ever–”

“Alright, Jisung, since this is your first college class ever, let me give you some advice,” Renjun said. “These big lecture classes? You’re really, really not gonna be making loads of friends in them.”

Jisung never felt so socially awkward and anxious in his life. “Oh! Oh, sorry.”

“No, don’t take that the wrong way, it’s just...really obvious that you’re a freshman,” Renjun said. “Although, you might wanna not wear your lanyard and dorm room keys around your neck like that, it’s kind of a dead giveaway.”

Jisung looked down at the keys hanging around his neck by the lanyard from freshman orientation, and quickly felt a surge of embarrassment as he hassled to take them off and shove them in his pockets, grumbling words of mortification under his breath. Renjun still looked neither friendly or unfriendly, but at least now he had a slight smile on his face. “Are you nervous? About making friends?”

“Well...okay, sure, yeah, I guess?” Jisung said cautiously, not sure if he was right on the path to having an embarrassing first day of college. “I mean, it’s college, you know? Who doesn’t want to be making friends?”

“Fair enough,” Renjun muses. “I guess it was easier. For me, personally. I came to college with my best friend.”

For some reason, Jisung found this rather unfair, and having not quite developed a solution to putting-his-foot-in-his-mouth syndrome, he replied–

“Well, whatever, lucky you, I guess.”

Renjun gave him a funny look.

“Wait, sorry, that came out sounding way worse than I intended it to,” Jisung started blabbering nervously, “I just meant that–”

“Nah, it’s cool, it’s cool,” Renjun chuckled slightly. “I get it. Not everyone’s that lucky to go to college with their best friend. It’s cool, Jisung.”

“Oh...thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Renjun said, a slight smirk to his words without actually smirking.

“Uh...okay,” Jisung just shrugged, and then the professor started talking and they both started focusing on the lecture…

...who, after that very first day, then let Jisung sit next to him during lectures, and slowly but surely, they started talking a bit more, and then Renjun asked Jisung if he wanted to get coffee after a lecture one time, and then if he wanted to get dinner with his friend Donghyuck, and the rest is history.

Of course, what’s not history and rather breaking news is how his friend Donghyuck is now making out on their living room couch with his friend (and roommate) Mark.

But if he really wants to think about it, he should’ve known, because there were the past five times that Mark and Donghyuck might’ve slipped up, and the one time it was just (quite literally, unfortunately) in plain sight.

Wait, were there five times?

Well, if he really thinks about it...

* * *

_I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans_

The first time, Jisung just wasn’t looking. And to be fair, it’s not exactly somewhere he would have thought of (or even tried) looking in the first place.

Jisung, rather precariously, had gotten in the bad habit of sleeping in until the middle of the afternoon on days he didn’t have class. It was a disastrous combination of long dance practices, staying up late, skipping lectures, and – simply put – lack of enthusiasm for his classes this semester. Obviously this spelled disaster for his circadian rhythms, and Jeno and Renjun were constantly telling him that he needed to have a regular sleep schedule, but Jisung simply didn’t see the point – if it worked for him, why change it?

This time, it was 24 minutes past six PM (to be fair, he’d actually woken up two hours earlier than normal at 1 PM, done some homework, and then fallen back asleep at 4), and Jisung felt his stomach growling for fried chicken from Kyochon. After he texted Yeojin and she agreed to be his ride, he yawned and, feeling a build-up of pressure right around his bladder, he realized he could not just lie in bed until Yeojin texted him that she was here. As such, he decided to stretch, yawn, and then get up out of bed to go use the bathroom.

Of course, when he went to open the bathroom door, he didn’t expect to see–

“MOTHERF–What the hell, Donghyuck!?” Jisung yelped as he closed the door upon seeing Donghyuck in the bathtub, who seemed to have been startled as there was suddenly splashing all around the tub.

“HOLY SHI–Jisung you could’ve knocked!” Donghyuck yelled indignantly behind said closed door.

“I didn’t know you were home!” Jisung said. “And you could’ve just locked the door!”

“I would’ve locked it if I’d known you were home! Don’t you have class?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I slept through it.”

“Jisung!”

“Hey, come on, you slept through some of your classes last week.”

“Yeah, but I’m a _senior_ , not a junior,” Donghyuck retorted. “This is your most important year of college! You should be trying even harder than I am!”

“Wait, why am I talking to you through the door?” Jisung said out loud, remembering he had to pee, and then went to open the door, a bit confused by the sudden splashing in the tub when he opened the bathroom, but figured it was just Donghyuck being Donghyuck. The candles and rose petals also seemed a bit out of place, but seeing as Jisung was currently going to eat fried chicken after sleeping all day, he wasn’t really in any place to judge Donghyuck’s life decisions.

“Dude, can’t you see I'm taking a bath?!” Donghyuck said, sounding even more high-strung than before, which seemed unusual, considering–

“Why are you freaking out all of a sudden? It’s not like this is the first time I’ve peed while you’ve taken a bath,” Jisung rolled his eyes as he closed the bathtub’s glass door, averting his gaze at Donghyuck.

“Hey! Just because you've done it before doesn't mean it’s okay when you do it!”

“Are you like, mad that I caught you with rose petals and candles this time?” Jisung yawned as he lifted up the toilet seat. “I know you’re all sensitive and picky with your baths, Haechannie. You literally got in an argument about this with Jaemin the other day.”

“What?! How’d you know about that?”

“Renjun told me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he says it's gross how you and Jaemin like taking baths in here, considering the state of the bathtub.”

“Hey, me and Jaemin spent hours disinfecting it at the start of the semester so we could start taking baths! Can he stop backtalking about the bath now?”

He heard a splash and what sounded like a large breath, and then another splash.

“Dude, are you playing battle royale in there or something?” Jisung asked. “What’s with all the splashing? The door isn’t going to keep it from getting on the floor.”

“No, I’m just...you know, uncomfy, since you’re in the bathroom,” Donghyuck said, sounding a bit timid, maybe even embarrassed. Again, Jisung was wondering what was so different about this time when he peed.

“You’re so dramatic sometimes,” Jisung scoffed as he zipped up his pants and flushed the toilet. “Anyways, I’m gonna go get Kyochon soon with Yeojin, do you want anything?”

“No, now finish washing your hands and get out!” he shouted.

“Alright, alright! Fine, stop being such a baby about it,” Jisung retorted as he dried his hands and closed the bathroom door.

Mark came up for air as soon as he heard the door shut.

“Fuck, that was so close,” he whispered, hair soaking wet and covered in soapy foam. “We’re so lucky you were on that side of the tub near the door.”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Mark,” Donghyuck said apologetically. “This was supposed to be relaxing and de-stressing, not the opposite. Ugh, Jisung needs to learn some respect, I swear. I mean come on, at least knock!”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Mark said, smiling at how worked up Donghyuck was, because it really made him all mushy inside at how much Donghyuck cared about his well-being. “I didn’t mind doing it for a little bit. What were you guys talking about anyway?”

“Oh, well, just about him being inconsiderate, that’s all,” Donghyuck sighed. “I’ll probably tell him off later. Oh, and that he’s getting Kyochon with Yeojin, he asked if I wanted some but I said no.”

“Wait...Kyochon?” Mark repeated. “Fried chicken?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well...were you gonna make anything for dinner?”

“No...why? Were you?”

Mark only gave him a funny look.

“Ah, right.”

He turned to shout through the door. “JISUNG! PARK JISUNG!”

Donghyuck gestured and Mark went back under as Jisung opened the door.

“JISUNG! PARK JISUNG!”

Jisung felt himself get annoyed, but resisted the urge to ignore Donghyuck in the tub. He wasn’t that mean.

“Yeah?” He said as he opened the bathroom door again.

“Can you get me the half and half with honey mustard, plus the sal sal rice bowl for Mark?”

“Uh...what? I’m getting something for Mark now too?” Jisung said skeptically.

“Oh, yeah, um he texted me, uh...he texted me earlier that he had to stay late at work today, so I think it would just be nice, to get him the bowl,” Donghyuck answered in a small voice.

“Oh,” Jisung nodded his head. Made sense, Donghyuck had mentioned something about Mark being busy tomorrow, which had been yesterday, which was technically today…

...Wow, he really needed to fix his sleep schedule. “Okay, yeah, sure.”

“Thanks, Jisung.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Jisung shrugged as he closed the door.

“That’s whatever _hyung!_ ” Donghyuck said.

“What _ever!_ ” Jisung yelled back with extra emphasis.

***

The second time, Jisung had just been too tired and too in his feelings to notice.

A couple of days ago, Jisung had turned nineteen. And it was great. The seven of them had hung out, Mark bought him booze, they played Smash whilst drunk, Jisung got all emotional (and drunk), then they threw cake in his face, and – to top it all off – Yeojin, Kai, and Taehyun all came to surprise him (and embarrass him) by dousing him with NERF guns outside his apartment as Jaemin and Jeno helped him stumble down the stairs drunkenly. 

Needless to say, it had been a fun way to celebrate turning nineteen.

However, a couple days had passed and as it turned out, Jisung still craved that feeling from the other day. Instead of feeling some relief or elation at being nineteen, having an amazing time with his roommates and best friends, and even more motivated, now he felt more lost than ever.

Here Jisung was, nineteen, and he sure as hell knew how to read, but reading his own feelings? That was something he’d been struggling with his whole life.

In reality, the party had only been a temporary distraction from feelings of...loss, for lack of better word...

It started hitting him when he’d been back home for winter break. Donghyuck had texted him about going to the airport with Renjun to pick up Mark, Jaemin was skiing somewhere with his friends, and Chenle was flying in from China a couple days after Mark. They were all having dinner eventually, sometime later this week, the seven of them. It would be nice to see them all together. But in the meantime, Jisung was stuck at home, and it was one of those rather boring days when he’d had nothing to do, so he resigned himself to eating popcorn and chips as he binge-watched Parks and Rec on Netflix.

However, after his older siblings dragged him out of bed and forced him to come with them as they went out to lunch, Jisung found himself begrudgingly sitting in the back of Chanyeol’s SUV, lying down on the seats as they headed towards Koreatown to get some KBBQ.

“So, how’s your winter break so far, Jisung?” Joy asked. “You having fun?”

“Eh, it’s whatever,” Jisung said, just staring at the car ceiling.

“You have any fun plans for this week? Besides hanging out with us, of course,” Joy said cheekily.

“Oh, yeah, well, me and my roommates are gonna go hang out later, sometime this week,” Jisung noted.

“Nice!” Joy said. “How was your semester?”

“You know, we went to the same school, and you were in the same major,” Jisung said a bit irritably. “You don’t have to keep asking, Joy.”

Joy looked a bit miffed, but relented. “Alright, sorry if that bothered you,” she said. “Just trying to make conversation, that’s all.”

“You okay, Mochi-sung?” Chanyeol asked as he merged onto the freeway.

“I guess...no, not really,” Jisung sighed. “I’m just kinda bummed, that I didn’t really get to see anyone this winter break.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you seeing your friends this week?”

“Yeah, but this is basically the last week of winter break, next week I have to do that one-week externship, and then it’s back to school, you know? And I’ll be too busy to see anyone, and this will be the only time I get to see all of them.”

“Were they all busy over break?” Joy asked.

“Yeah,” Jisung sighed. “I dunno I’m just...feeling weird, I’m reaching the end of my teen years and I feel like I wasted them.”

“I don’t think you can really waste your teen years, either way they’re always a waste,” Chanyeol said, to which Joy hit him on the shoulder. “Ow, what was that for?”

“Oh yeah, real helpful, saying your teenage years aren’t that important and your twenties are your best, real helpful, Yeol,” Joy rolled her eyes. “You weren’t a teenager that long ago either.”

“What? I’m twenty-eight, by comparison, that was a long time ago for me,” Chanyeol said.

“Oh, okay, so if mom told you ‘oh yeah, your twenties are really a waste, Chanyeol, once you hit my age is when you truly feel like you’re living life’, how would you feel?”

“She already tells me that,” Chanyeol shrugged.

“I’m just trying to give you some perspective, Yeol.”

“No, he’s right,” Jisung said somberly. “I feel like it’s just been a waste of time, and that’s the worst part, because I’m not gonna be young forever.”

Joy and Chanyeol both turned to look at him.

“Uh...are you going through a midlife crisis?” Chanyeol said. “It might be a bit...er, thirty years early for that.”

“Well, I basically wasted high school, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and the only time I’ve ever feel like I’m doing something is when I’m with my roommates, but they’re all graduating this year, and probably moving out,” Jisung said, starting to feel something sinking in his chest. “So yeah, I guess this is my midlife crisis.”

“Or just teenage angst?” Another hit on the shoulder. “What the hell, Joy?”

“Why are you being so mean?” Joy argued. “Come on, at least try being sympathetic.”

“I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to make it feel like everything isn’t impossible,” Chanyeol replied. “Look, Jisung, when I was in college slash early twenties, I felt the same way you did. Totally lost, no idea what the hell I was going to do with my life.”

Jisung almost perked up at that. “You did?”

“Oh yeah!” Chanyeol nodded. “You think I ever thought in a million years I would ever get to produce songs for Baekhyun, Chen, or Suho, and be where I am today? No, at nineteen, I was exactly like you. Confused, lost, and just really lonely.”

“You were not, I remember you always hanging out with your friends,” Joy said.

“I know, but am I still friends with all of them? No,” Chanyeol replied. “I didn’t really find my full friend group until I graduated college, when I started working with Sehun, and just built ourselves from the ground-up. And now, look at us, EXO-SC is credited as producers on some of the biggest albums this year!”

“Is there a point to all of this?” Jisung asked.

“The point is that you shouldn’t get too hung up on your youth, Mochi-sung,” Chanyeol said affectionately. “Yeah, youth, it’s a formative time. But it’s only one of many times in your life. Don’t get too hung up on it! There’s so much more in the future to look forward to.”

“But I feel like I’ve wasted it,” Jisung said, in a dismal mood. “I just...I don’t know, I feel so lost, Chanyeol. I’m not like you, or Joy, or Jinyoung, or Aunt Luna. I’ve never felt...drive for anything. I don’t really look forward to anything.”

“You like dancing, no?” Chanyeol asked. “I’m sure you look forward to your dance practices.”

Jisung sighed. “You know mom and dad would never support it, full-time. It’s why I’m double majoring...I dunno, maybe they’re right.”

“Well fuck what they want, Jisung,” Joy said defiantly. “They didn’t want me to go into modelling, but did I? Yeah! And sure, I still have my microbio degree because they wanted me to do STEM, but look at me now, half-activist, half-influencer, one hundred-percent fashion model and role model.”

“But that’s different, Joy, you’re...well, you’ve always rebelled against mom and dad,” Jisung said. “You’ve always done things your own way. I’ve never done that.”

“But this isn’t about what mom and dad want, Mochi,” Chanyeol said as he switched into the carpool lane. “It’s about what you want.”

“But then they won’t–”

“No, I get it, they won’t support your education. But college isn’t forever. Have you ever thought about what you’d do after you get your degree?”

“Well...no, actually,” Jisung said, realizing he’d never really thought that far ahead in life. “I figured...I dunno, I’d just wing it, do something?”

“But what is something?” Chanyeol asked. “What is that something, Jisung? What is it that _you_ want?”

...And that question had been haunting Jisung ever since. He realized that part of what he wanted was this feeling, this _rush_ of happiness he got whenever he hung out with Chenle and his roommates. But wanting a rush of happiness from his friends wasn’t a job, and it wasn’t anywhere close to Jisung’s fields of study. It was something teenagers could want, but this was his last year being a teenager, and eventually, he’d have to grow up, and find a job, and then what?

Jisung sighed again, turning to his side on the living room couch, having gotten tired of staring at the ceiling. He’d made plans to get dinner with Chenle tonight – somewhere at this place called the Mad Nest – but had cancelled, having woke up from his nap unable to rid these thoughts from his head.

It’s why he felt he was wasting his time, wasting his youth. Everyone had it all figured out. Jaemin was graduating and working on being a freelancing influencer like Joy. Jeno had plans to do his Masters, Renjun had a job after graduation in downtown. Donghyuck was interning at a music company. Mark, meanwhile, had moved back into the apartment, working full-time at Spotify, while Chenle was going to help with his family business over the summer.

And Jisung?

All Jisung had were plans to eat ice cream in his room, watch some Netflix before practice, then go to dance practice, and then put off his schoolwork, rinse, repeat until midterms when he’d eventually cram and get passable scores on his exams.

Why couldn’t he find the drive, the answers to his questions, like everyone else had?

Sighing, he popped in his earbuds, and started doing the only thing that felt okay whenever he got into his feelings like this – listening to Ribs by Lorde on repeat while he stared up at the ceiling.

“Jisung,” a disembodied voice that sounded like Donghyuck said.

“Mmmm,” he didn’t want to open his eyes.

“Jisung, are you awake?” Donghyuck’s disembodied voice said. 

Jisung struggled with opening his eyes, but eventually saw Donghyuck and what looked like Mark sitting on the coffee table, worried looks on their faces.

“Mmmmm,” was all he could say, really tired, he thought he saw Mark’s hand on Donghyuck’s hand, but he just wanted to go to bed.

“You okay?”

“Just fell asleep,” he yawned, snuggling back into the couch’s cushions. “Was feeling tired.”

“No, seriously, Jisung, I’m asking if you were okay, I can hear Ribs still playing from the earbuds connected to your phone,” Donghyuck said.

That jolted Jisung awake a bit.

“Crap, that’s embarrassing,” Jisung muttered under his breath as he grabbed his phone and hit the pause button, feeling himself starting to sweat. He thought it would just be a one-off thing, Donghyuck catching him crying as he dissociated in the living room with Ribs by Lorde playing at 3 AM last semester (curse Donghyuck and his cravings for ice cream whenever he randomly woke up at 3 AM). However, given this was not the first time this had happened, Jisung saw how bad this looked for him.

“Is that a sad song?” Mark asked gently.

“No, it was nothing, just used the song to fall asleep. I was just feeling tired,” he lied.

He noticed there was some takeout in a bag next to Mark. “Did you two go somewhere?” he asked, trying to change the conversation.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, me and–and a _friend_ , we went to get dinner, this place called Mad Nest,” Mark replied.

 _I was supposed to go with Chenle there tonight,_ Jisung thought to himself sadly, realizing that was a missed opportunity to hang with Chenle, feeling even sadder than he had before. _Wow, I really am wasting my youth._

 _No, what you need is to go back to sleep_ , the grumpy part of his brain said.

“Hmmm, sounds good. Why are you all dressed up for dinner with a friend?” he said jokingly, trying to deflect the conversation away from him. “Is Mad Nest fancy?”

“Eh, it’s definitely not casual, if you were wondering,” Donghyuck said. “Why, does it look like he’s all dressed up for a date?”

“Uh...well, I guess? I dunno, did you guys go on a double date or something?”

Mark stiffened up a bit, but Donghyuck only laughed. “No, I’m not really looking for anyone to date right now. But if you are, Mark…” Donghyuck winked, to which he turned and smirked at Jisung. “I know someone I can set you up with.”

Mark balked flusteredly. “Uh–”

“Ew, gross, please don’t,” Jisung grimaced. “That...no, please don’t joke about that. Besides, Renjun always says it’s a bad idea for roommates to date, anyways.”

“Why, you don’t think me and Jaemin would get along?” Donghyuck laughed.

“Oh please, no, no, no,” Jisung said. “The idea of you dating anyone in the apartment sounds like a bad idea, but especially with Jaemin? Yeah, no.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m not really interested in seeing anyone at the moment,” Donghyuck assured him. “Like Mark said, he went out to have dinner with a friend. On a ‘friend date’, as Jaemin likes to call it.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me, Jaemin always asks me to go on friend dates with him,” Jisung said irritably. “I don’t get how he convinces Jeno to go on them, Jaemin’s so annoying because he’ll talk your ear off but then the minute there’s a waiter? Quiet as a mouse.”

“That’s because Jeno is a very nice and patient person, who puts up with Jaemin’s crap more than I ever will,” Donghyuck smiled cheekily. “You, on the other hand, are just a big baby.”

“Ah, I wish,” Jisung said, yawning again, partially playing off Donghyuck’s humor but also partially wishing he could be a baby again, not grow up. “You should’ve told me you were going out tonight, I would’ve asked you to get me something, Mark.”

“You didn’t eat?” Mark said, concern in his voice.

“No, but it’s fine, I’ll just have ramen in the morning,” Jisung sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m still half-asleep, gonna go to my room to sleep.”

“You sure everything’s okay?” Mark asked. “I know you said you’re tired, but you seemed kinda down earlier.”

Not feeling in the mood to spill out all his feelings and insecurities about aging, in addition to having Mark and Donghyuck be stand-in’s for his parental older sibling therapist-esque figures, Jisung opts out with a shake of the head. “Seriously, everything’s fine. I’m just really, really tired. Gonna...gonna go pass out now.”

He got up, yawned again, realized how tired he was from crying his eyes out before he’d eventually passed out on the couch, and then stretched a bit. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Then he walked into his room, said goodnight, crashed into Jaemin’s bottom bunk, and immediately passed out.

Mark slapped Donghyuck on the arm. “Ow, what the hell was that for?” Donghyuck whined.

“What the hell was that for? Uh, for whatever the hell that was. _Does it look like he’s all dressed up for a date?_ Come on, dude,” Mark said. “You keep dropping hints like that and eventually someone’s going to put two and two together.”

“Why are you so worried about them finding out we’re dating anyways?” Donghyuck asked. “Renjun seems super chill with it.”

“Oh, so you’d be okay if I called up Jaemin right now and told him?”

“Hey, that’s different,” Donghyuck said defensively. “We both know why that’s different. But I don’t think Jeno and Jisung – hell, even Chenle, none of them would take it badly.”

“I know but it’s...different, with you,” Mark sighed. “You’ve been here. I moved off to New York for a year. I don’t want things to just...change, suddenly, and they see me differently because now I’m not just their friend, I’m also their friend who’s dating their other friend.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I get that,” Donghyuck said, pulling Mark closer and hugging him a bit tighter. “It’s okay you want to keep it a secret right now, not jump into everything so suddenly. I didn’t say you were wrong, just asked why you’re so worried.”

“I know,” Mark said, breathing easy into Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Sorry, I really do feel like we should tell them. Just...not right now, you know? I don’t think I’m ready to do that yet.”

Donghyuck planted a soft kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry, honey, your secret is safe with me.”

Mark made a face of disgust. “Ew, honey?”

“What, I think it’s cute.”

“I don’t know about that,” Mark said playfully as he kissed Donghyuck.

“Hmm, well I don’t really care what you think, it’s cute _to me_ ,” Donghyuck said, wrapping his arms even tighter around Mark.

***

The third time, Jisung had just been hungry.

Having felt rather drained after a long morning of (unfortunately) mandatory 8 AM Friday class (they had a quiz), then getting coffee with Yeojin after, followed by Chenle joining them and getting distracted from doing their work, and realizing he hadn’t eaten anything that morning, Jisung headed home to drop off his schoolwork, order some takeout for delivery, and then take a fat nap after he finished eating.

Instead, as he walked towards the apartment, he couldn’t help but smell the incredible aromas coming from inside. Upon unlocking the front door, he was quite surprised to see Donghyuck cooking in the kitchen.

“ _Honey!_ Is that you?” Donghyuck sing-songed a bit, looking a bit...domestic, Jisung noted.

“Uh...no?”

Donghyuck turned around quickly to see Jisung, a bit of shock registered on his face. “Oh, Jisung! I thought you had class today?”

“Only in the mornings,” Jisung yawned a bit, taking off his shoes and throwing his backpack near the couch. “Are you making lunch?”

“Uh...yes, I am, actually,” Donghyuck said.

“Huh...whatcha making?” Jisung asked, feeling his stomach churn at the sight of food.

“Uh, well, it was just going to be–”

“What’s with the wine? And the picnic blanket on the kitchen table?” Jisung asked, and then he started to put two and two together, between Donghyuck calling him honey and Donghyuck actually cooking food and the flowers in the vase on the table–

“Oh my god, wait, are you–are you having someone over?” Jisung said, a bit shocked. “Is this supposed to be a date?”

“What?!” Donghyuck yelped.

“You never cook for anyone, seriously, and the apartment looks all nice, and you _bought_ groceries? You’re having someone over, aren’t you.”

“What?!” Donghyuck exclaimed again, even more squeaky than last time. “Wha–no! No, I’m not having anyone over, don’t be ridiculous! I just wanted to make a nice meal for myself!”

“Then why are there _two_ wine glasses?” Jisung said skeptically.

Turning around again, Donghyuck noticed the two wine glasses and promptly picked them up and put them away. “Oh, no, yeah, those were for _two_ servings, one for me and, uh–for you!”

he said hastily, holding out the glass for Jisung to take.

“For me,” Jisung repeated, unimpressed that it was so painfully obvious Donghyuck was about to have a date.

“Yes, yes, for you!” Donghyuck insisted. “I made–all this food! For you! Because I knew you only had one class today, and I knew you, uh, were having a bit of a hard time–after we came home that one night! From Mad’s Nest! And you were all moody!”

“You knew?”

“Yes!” Donghyuck smiled a bit too widely. “Of course I knew, _you,_ you and your Ribs by Lorde emo times. I knew you felt bad and, well, I did all this to cheer you up!”

Although Jisung wanted to believe Donghyuck is capable of being so thoughtful, this was also the same Donghyuck who had ruined his birthday surprise of Mark coming to visit last year. “Then why did it sound like you were expecting someone else when I came home?”

Donghyuck’s face froze a bit in that wide smile. “What?” 

“You know, how you called me honey? Since when do you call me that?” Jisung asked.

“OH, _that,_ well, that...that is just–that is an interesting question you raise!” Donghyuck said, not in the slightest bit convincing. “Why _did_ I call you honey? Well, it was, because, um…”

“You have a date, don’t you.”

“No, I don’t, I _really_ really don’t, I just, uh-”

The door began to unlock, and Donghyuck and Jisung both turned to look to see who it was, maybe Donghyuck’s date, but they wouldn’t have the key–

It was Renjun, headphones in and carrying what looked like art supplies.

“Renjun!” Donghyuck said a bit too loudly, and Renjun looked up as he threw off his shoes and took off his headphones. “Hey, _honey!_ ”

“Oh, uh, hey Donghyuck?” Renjun said confusedly.

“ _Renjun!_ That’s who I was referring to as _honey_ , that’s who,” Donghyuck said as he went over to wrap his arm around Renjun’s shoulder and squeeze his arm a bit. “I thought you were Renjun!”

“You call Renjun honey?” Jisung said, baffled a bit (but given that it was Donghyuck and Renjun, he couldn’t say he was too shocked). “Since when?”

“Oh, we just call each other that,” Donghyuck said, turning to look Renjun in the eyes. “Right, _honey?_ ”

Renjun paused for a bit, looked at Donghyuck, then back at Jisung, then over his shoulder and to the kitchen, and then back at Jisung again. “Yeah, that’s what we call each other,” Renjun nodded with agreement.

“Really?”

“No, yeah, really, he calls me honey, I call him bee,” Renjun said. “Because I cannot bee-lieve Donghyuck sometimes, how smart he is. Smart as a bee, by the way, did you know bees can do math?”

“Uh...no?”

“It’s an old inside joke,” Renjun explained. “Basically Jeno pranked Mark once with an article about bees doing math.”

“Oh...how is that a prank?” Jisung asked. “Can bees not do math?”

“No, bees actually can do math...I think, I don’t remember the exact article, off the top of my head,” Renjun said. “But yeah, he calls me Honey, I call him Bee. It’s just a thing, you know, we just do that. That’s where the nickname came from.”

Jisung wasn’t entirely convinced, but Renjun seemed to be telling the truth, so he just shrugged. “Alright, whatever. Are we all having lunch, then?”

Donghyuck looked a bit waffled. “Uh, what?”

“You know, how you said you made this for me?” Jisung said. “I am kinda hungry. Although technically, you’re not supposed to serve me wine, since, you know, I’m under twenty-one. Although that’s never really stopped you guys, so…”

“No, uh...yeah! Yeah, actually, I was doing all the prep work so um – so Renjun, _honey_ could help me with the cooking, it was his idea actually, wasn’t it, honey?” Donghyuck smiled tightly, pulling Renjun even closer.

Renjun looked a bit uncomfortable, but smiled in return. “Yeah, I’ll help you cook! Did you get the peas, though?”

A confused expression spread on Donghyuck’s face. “The peas?”

“Yeah, you know, the _peas_ , the ones you need for lunch today?” Renjun said with almost gritted teeth.

“The peas...uh...I don't know?”

“Oh, you’re so forgetful, _bee_. Come on, let’s go to the store and get some!” Renjun said a bit too loudly as he grabbed Donghyuck’s arm to go with him.

“Uh–”

“Hey, Jisung, can you just unplug the rice cooker? It’s done,” Renjun said as they walked out the door.

“Uh...sure,” Jisung called out to them. “I guess I’ll see you guys in a bit for lunch?”

“For sure! See you in a bit after we get the peas,” Renjun replied before he closed and locked the door.

As soon as they got in the elevator, Renjun punched Donghyuck as hard as he could in the shoulder.

“OW! What was that for?!” Donghyuck said indignantly.

“Are you an idiot?!” Renjun asked. “And don’t answer, because that’s a rhetorical question.”

“Hey!”

“Seriously, what the hell were you thinking, Haechan?!”

“I was thinking about having a nice romantic lunch for my boyfriend, until Jisung walked in and screwed everything up!”

“Hello? What was one of the rules?!”

“Why are you–”

“What was one of the rules!” Renjun repeated, sounding even more fiery than before.

Donghyuck sighed. “Rule four, check the schedule on the door.”

“I mean, seriously, Haechannie! I bust my ass getting Jisung and Jeno’s schedules – and don’t even get me _started_ on Jaemin – so you and Mark know when they’re not home, and this is how you thank me?!”

“It’s not my fault that the kid's got a whack sleep schedule!” Donghyuck replied indignantly, although he just didn’t want to admit he had messed up. “He literally stays up until five in the morning sometimes on that damn phone of his!”  
“What is it with you and that damn phone,” Renjun huffed as the elevator door opened, and they walked out to the parking garage. “We all have phones, what, do you not want him to have a phone?”

“Well not if he’s going to be like this! We both know it’s not good for him, Renjun, Jaemin tells me sometimes about how he goes to sleep and then wakes up for class and Jisung is still on his phone!”

“Well what do you want me to do, take it away?!” Renjun shouted. “Like that’ll fix his sleep schedule? You know he’s going through a rough time! His classes are hard, he’s obviously super stressed out, for all we know he could be having serious emotional issues right now!”

“And you think the _phone_ is going to solve any of that?” Donghyuck retorted. “It’s just enabling him and making it worse.”

“Well maybe if someone was there to _care_ for him and took notice,” Renjun started, and for Donghyuck, that was the last straw, because he did not want to get started.

“I _knew_ you were going to bring that up, I was working on making that better, okay?! I know he’s been listening to Ribs by Lorde! But you think I always have time for that? Where the hell are you, if you knew this was a problem, huh?!”

“Hey! I work all day, between all the classes I have, my job, working on my art store, having my own life, and that's all on top of helping you and Mark keep your relationship a secret, which again, wouldn’t be such a problem if _you_ put in the work to know when Jisung was in the apartment!”

“And you don’t think I’m _working_ when I’m making lunch for Mark and trying to find a full-time job whilst also trying to be emotionally supportive for Jisung?” Donghyuck said icily.

Renjun gawked at him. “That’s not what I said!”

“It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it and what was implied!”

“Oh, great, here we go again, you getting all worked up over how I say things because you think I’m being unfair towards you–”

“You are being unfair towards me! Making it sound like it’s _my_ fault I can’t keep track of Jisung when that’s no one’s fault but his!?”

“What, so you’re saying it’s all his fault?!”

“It’s not my job to take care of him!”

“Your _job_?!” Renjun said hotly. “Well if it’s such a _job_ to you, then maybe you really are so blind to how little effort you’ve been putting in at all into following the rules and _barely_ getting your ass saved BY ME!”

“Then just _take_ a- _way_ his _PHONE!_ ”

At the last word, both Donghyuck and Renjun suddenly became very aware of how heated and off-topic their argument had gotten, especially given the acoustics of the parking lot.

“Wow, why do we sound so much like my parents?” Renjun thought out loud. 

“I don’t know, this got really...carried away,” Donghyuck replied, rubbing his shoulder. “Sorry, I guess I just got all...stressed out, about almost getting caught by Jisung, and then you getting mad at me.”

“No, it’s just, it’s fine,” Renjun sighed. “I guess I was mad at you, too, for looping me into that whole _honey_ talk and making me improvise a lie in front of Jisung. I don’t like that.”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck said. “I guess we were both mad at each other and both, well...yeah, we are both worried, a bit, about Jisung.”

“I’ve talked to him about the phone before,” Renjun said. “He says sometimes it helps him fall asleep, but yeah, it’s not...it’s not great.”

“Yeah, well...neither is all this, really,” Donghyuck sighed. “Look at me, trying to do something nice for Mark, and then it ends up getting ruined all because I couldn’t be bothered to check the piece of paper you taped to the back of our bedroom door.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun said, lightly tapping Donghyuck’s shoulder. “You’re just in love, Hyuck. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sorry for being pissed at you earlier. I just want to make sure you and Mark are okay, that’s all.” He really meant it. “I know it's hard on you and Mark.”

“I know, Renjun,” Donghyuck said, sighing a bit. “I know.”

Renjun smiled. “Hey, how about we go talk to Jisung a bit, see what’s up? Make him lunch, like you lied and said you would. Check in with him and everything, from the phone to the whole Ribs by Lorde debacle.”

Donghyuck couldn’t help but grin in return. “Well, what are friends for?” However, he realized he’d forgotten something and took a step back. “Wait, what do I tell Mark about our lunch date?”

“Tell him to get takeout,” Renjun said. “Because we’ve got some comfort food to make for Jisung.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck said, taking out his phone to text Mark that lunch plans had been cancelled.

Renjun rubbed Donghyuck’s shoulder gently. “Hey, don’t worry. There’ll be plenty of other times for you and Mark to have lunch in the apartment, okay? Next Friday, for example.”

“I know,” Donghyuck replied, even though he was a bit disappointed that they’d have to wait on having the romantic date he’d planned out.

Of course, because it was Renjun, and he had a sense for these things, he didn’t stop the conversation just yet. “You know what would be even more romantic, though?”

“What?”

“If during lunch, when we talked to Jisung, I convinced him that watching a movie at Chenle’s might be a good way to feel better, and happened to coordinate with inviting Jeno and Jaemin over too, plus me, and then the apartment would be free tonight for the evening.”

“You would do that?” Donghyuck said with disbelief.

“Hypothetically speaking, of course,” Renjun added. “But if you want it, _bee_ , I can do it for you. Me and Chenle have been trying to convince everyone else to watch ‘Red Sorghum’ with us anyways.”

Feeling less disappointed and more elated (and grateful), Donghyuck hugged Renjun a bit, extra tight for good measure. “I’m so happy you know about me and Mark, honey.”

“Me too, bee _._ ”

***

The fourth time, well, how was Jisung supposed to know?

Jisung happened to be downtown for lunch with Chenle, who’d found this new restaurant he wanted to try (obviously super expensive, obviously Chenle was going to pay for it, obviously Jisung had protested but there he was). However, figuring he was in Downtown, he thought it’d be a nice surprise to visit Mark at his office in Spotify at the next building over, surprise him and maybe ask if he wanted to come to lunch too. He’d asked Chenle beforehand, and of course Chenle had been excited to have Mark for lunch too, if he was free.

Since it was a surprise, Jisung didn’t bother texting Mark beforehand and decided to go up to Spotify’s office lobby on the first floor. However, before he tried going to find Mark, he did need to use the bathroom really quick.

He opens the door and hears some rustling in one of the stalls. He shrugs it off, going about his business, then flushing and going to wash his hands. His phone buzzes in his pocket – Chenle is calling him.

“Hey, Lele.”

“Yo, is Mark free?”

“Oh, I just got here! I’m gonna go up to his office and ask if he’s free for lunch,” Jisung replied. “Why, are you already there?”

“Yeah! And they really can’t believe me when I say I want a table for two, maybe three,” Chenle laughs. “Do I really look that young?”

“To be fair, it probably looks out of place to see a teenager asking about lunch at a high-end restaurant on the 51st floor of a skyscraper.”

“Aiyah, so prejudiced, like teenagers can’t be rich too?”

“I thought you hated being called a rich kid,” Jisung muses.

“Whatever. Just lemme know if Mark wants to come!”

“Gotcha, see you then.”

Jisung walked out of the bathroom and asked the receptionist which floor Spotify’s music editors work on, to which she responded on the 7th floor. After getting in the elevator, he pressed the button for the 7th floor. However, upon getting to the seventh floor, he couldn’t seem to find Mark, which was a bit confusing. 

A girl walking by noticed that he looked lost, so she asked him, “Hi, are you looking for someone?”

“Oh, yeah! I’m one of Mark’s friends, I was supposed to meet him for lunch,” Jisung said. Not technically the truth, but not technically a lie either.

“Mark Lee? Oh, he already took his lunch break. He was with a friend.”

A friend?

Who?

“A friend?” Jisung said. “Do you know who it was?”

She shook her head. “Sorry, no idea.”

“Ah, okay. Well, thanks for telling me!”

“Sure, no problem.”

He texted Chenle that Mark was busy as he walked to the elevator. Pressing the button for the ground floor, he couldn’t help but be a bit confused.

Who was this other friend Mark had gotten lunch with?

Back down in the first floor bathroom, Mark and Donghyuck unlocked the stall and both breathed a sigh of relief, after what felt like holding their breath the entire time Jisung had been in the bathroom.

“Fuck, that was cutting it _way_ too close,” Donghyuck said. “Why the hell was he even here?”

“I guess to invite me to lunch? As a surprise, because he didn’t tell me at all he wanted to get lunch with me today,” Mark replied.

“Shit, what is it with Jisung almost catching us lately? And in bathrooms, too?”

“I dunno, man. It’s getting weird.”

***

The fifth time was when Jisung started realizing something was wrong.

Jisung had just gotten back from class, and feeling rather exhausted, wanted nothing more than to sleep. Walking into the building, he noticed that there was a package for Donghyuck on top of their apartment’s mailbox. Deciding to grab it, he brought it up with him as he took the stairs up to the 7th floor (he didn’t care how tired he was, he didn’t trust the elevator in the building).

After unlocking the apartment door, he went up to Mark and Donghyuck’s room to knock, since Donghyuck liked it when they left packages in his room (this, of course, being something Donghyuck liked after Jaemin had gotten his hands on something Donghyuck had ordered and opened it before he could get home). 

“Come in,” a voice that sounded very...sexy, called from the other side of the door.

 _Mark?_ Jisung thought confusedly.

“I was waiting for you,” Mark said almost melodically.

 _For Donghyuck’s package? Did Donghyuck order something for him?_ Jisung pondered, still confused.

He started to open the door.

“Hey, this package is for–OHMYGOD!”

Jisung bolted out the door and immediately slammed it shut as he covered his eyes, seconds before realizing that was a bad idea and tripping over the coffee table in the living room. Fuck, this was so awkward, fuck, fuck fuck–

“OH MY GOD JISUNG, JISUNG, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SO SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN FOR YOU TO SEE THAT,” Mark babbled out in a place that sounded far away, but it was too much, everything was happening too much, the mental image of Mark completely naked except for a tie and socks with a vase of roses covering his–

“IT’S OKAY, IT’S OKAY,” Jisung said a bit too loudly and fuck was this so embarrassing, why the hell was Mark doing that–

“I CAN EXPLAIN, I CAN EXPLAIN, IT WAS JUST–”

“HAHA OKAY COOL FUN STORY I’M GONNA GO,” Jisung said very much loudly as he grabbed his keys off the kitchen table. 

“JISUNG WAIT–”

“MARK YOU’RE STILL NAKED–”

“SHIT,” Mark panicked as he reached for the nearest item (a frying pan) to cover himself up.

“OKAY WELL IT WAS NICE SEEING Y– _NO_ , NO IT WAS NOT NICE SEEING YOU!” Jisung yelled as he covered his eyes again. “OKAY WELL, YEAH, WHATEVER, JUST, BYE MARK!”

“JISUNG PLEASE DON’T SAY ANYTHING–”

“WHAT? SORRY NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, WHO ARE YOU?” Jisung laughed nervously.

“FUCK DUDE I’M SO SORRY–”

“SEE NO EVIL SPEAK NO EVIL,” Jisung sing-songed before promptly slamming the apartment’s door shut and running to the stairwell.

Still in fully-fledged flight-or-fight mode, Jisung nearly _flew_ down the flights of stairs as he raced to get as far away as possible, as far away from the apartment as possible, literally anywhere but here as the mental images still burned in his mind and why the hell was Mark naked and why the hell did Donghyuck have to have that weird thing about his packages and why the hell was he so completely awake and wired now after being so tired and–

Lost in his thoughts, Jisung didn’t even realize he had accidentally crashed into someone until he’d already fallen to the ground, a couple of roses strewn around him on the sidewalk.

“SORRY, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, didn’t see you, really sorry,” Jisung apologized profusely, helping the man up before realizing–

“YUKHEI?!”

“Jisung!” Yukhei said boisterously, reaching to pull Jisung in for a bro-hug. “What’s up, bro? You in a rush or something? You crashed into me pretty hard.”

“Uh, no, just, um, actually yes, yes I need to get as far away from the apartment as possible,” Jisung said.

“What? Why, what happened,” Yukhei asked.

“Uh, just, uh, sorry, nothing, just, need to go,” Jisung said, before noticing that Yukhei was holding a bouquet of roses, and that Mark had been covering his junk with a vase of– 

“ROSES,” Jisung shouted before he could stop himself from shouting.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, the roses,” Yukhei laughed. “I was actually on my way to give them to–”

“DON’T WANNA KNOW, DON’T WANNA KNOW,” Jisung nearly screamed, he could not believe this was happening, this was actually happening, and suddenly everything made sense, when Mark wasn’t in his office for lunch, and why Mark was so weird that one night when he’d come back from a “friend date” with a “friend” and–

“Jisung, man, is everything okay? You seem really shook up,” Yukhei said. “Is everything alright?”

“YEAH–yeah, yeah, I’m just feeling BREEZY!” Jisung almost exclaimed.

“Breezy?”

_No, I’m just panicking about the fact that you’ve been secretly dating Mark this whole time?!?!_

“Yeah, just–just breezy,” Jisung nervously laughed, “well, uh, yeah, gotta go but uh, yeah you have fun with Mark and your roses!”

“With Mark?”

“WELL gotta go now so I’ll see you later, BYE,” Jisung shouted before speeding off in the other direction, as far away from everything as possible.

Yukhei looked at Jisung walking in the other direction, pretty quickly, he noted. He didn’t know why freaked out about the roses, but shrugged it off. Maybe he had a traumatic experience with roses recently, and if he did, Yukhei could definitely relate – after all, he couldn’t eat pasta for months post-Halloween with the bathtub of spaghetti.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he grabbed it to answer a call.

“Yo, ‘sup Yuqi?”

“Hey, do you have the roses? Yanan’s gonna be here any minute, you need to get here before he does!”

“Bro, chill, I’m almost at your place, I’m like three blocks away.”

“Yukheiiiii,” she whined.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get there before Yanan does,” Yukhei laughed. “I’ll text you when I’m at your building.”

“Okay, just please get here quick!”

“See you soon.”

***

And now?

Jisung is currently fractions away from a mental breakdown, all the evidence starting to stack up, to violently break and shatter his mind even more, as he realizes.

That time Donghyuck got panicked in the bathtub–

That time Mark had come home from dinner with a friend and Donghyuck had joked he looked all dressed up for a date–

That time Donghyuck had been making lunch and accidentally called him honey–

That time Mark was out of his office for lunch with a friend–

That time Mark was in his room with–

Jisung wants to scream but his head is underwater, the water coming from these watershed moments in realizing all the times Mark and Donghyuck have been so _obvious_ that they were a thing, but he just never realized because he didn’t think they were _that_ stupid to start fooling around with each other. For fuck’s sake, they’re roommates!

Oh my god, they were roommates.

Fuck, what is he going to do? Does anyone else in the apartment know? How is he supposed to walk out there, when he has to pee but Mark and Donghyuck are making out on the couch? What is he supposed to do? WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Jisung doesn’t get time to ponder on that, because his phone lights up and he sees a text from Jaemin.

**🐰🐰🐰jaemin ur favorite hyung ❤️💛💚💙💜** [just now] : _Jisungieeee_ 🥺😍😘 _nana_ 🐰 _will be home soon_ 🥺🥺🥺 _is nana’s_ 🐰 _favorite babyy home?_ 💚💚💚 _does babyy want to get early dinner with_ 🐰 _nana?_ 🥰🥺😳😘💚

Fuck, Jaemin’s so annoying it makes him sick, he wants to text him back “DIE” but he can just tell it to his face when he gets home–

Wait.

JAEMIN’S GOING TO BE HOME?!

And Mark and Donghyuck are still out there sucking on each other’s faces and–

Fuck, fuck, what is he going to do?!

He almost wants to cry. He’s had his ups and downs with living in the apartment with his friends, but overall, he’s always thought the pros outweighed the cons. Even for all of Jaemin’s constant smothering, Jeno’s sulky behavior, Donghyuck’s rude remarks, Renjun’s unquellable rage every time Mercury went into retrograde, and Mark nearly burning down their apartment trying to cook, he’d always enjoyed living here.

Except now, instead of living here, he feels like he’s dead and stuck on literal hell on earth, given the situation.

He really does want to be there right now, fuck, even hell sounds better than dealing with this, he could just jump off a–

Hold on.

Donghyuck’s halfway through making Mark’s lips as familiar as his own and shimmying his hands below Mark’s waist when his phone buzzes in his back pocket. Mark breaks their kiss briefly to nod towards his back pocket.

“You gonna answer that?” Mark says. “That’s the fourth time your phone’s buzzed now.”

Ugh, yeah, yeah,” Donghyuck sighs, rising up from above Mark to grab his phone. “I swear, next thing I do is put this thing on silent, it’s totally ruining the mood.”

Donghyuck opens his phone and sees four missed calls from Jisung.

Which seems oddly out of character. Jisung rarely calls him, if he ever has. In fact, getting a response from Jisung is normally impossible – Jisung doesn’t respond to their group chat, never replies back to his texts, and on the off-chance Donghyuck needs to text Jisung for something, he will usually just text Chenle instead, because asking Chenle to ask Jisung is better than asking Jisung and getting no response at all.

This must be important, if Jisung’s not only tried to call him once, but also four times.

His phone lights up again. It’s Jisung.

He picks up. “Hey, Jisung, what’s up?”

“Hey, uh, um, is Jaemin’s, uh, his sweater there?” Jisung tries weakly.

Currently he’s out on the roof of the building next to them, since that’s what’s right outside his and Jaemin’s window. Normally, Jisung never goes out here because he’s deathly afraid of heights, but even with weak knees and shaky, sweaty palms, it’s probably the only place he can be right now where Donghyuck won’t hear him in the apartment and won’t realize he’s in the apartment.

“Uh, what? His sweater?” Donghyuck says confusedly. 

Jisung’s phone accidentally slips out of his hand and he goes to reach for it, grabbing onto it, accidentally peering down and seeing the sidewalk seven stories down–

 _BREATHE DON’T FALL DON’T FALL YOU’RE FINE, YOU’RE FINE,_ Jisung screams internally to himself, telling him he only has to be here to tell them that Jaemin will be home, that’s all, that’s all. One step at a time.

“Jaemin’s-Jaemin’s sweater, yeah, he’s-he’s coming home to get...get...get it?”

“Uh...okay? Why’d you have to call me to tell me that?”

“Uh because NOW HE’S COMING HOME?” Jisung thinks out loud with disbelief as he looks down at the street and sees Jaemin walking up to the building doors, unlocking the keys and–

“Jisung? You sound stressed, is everything okay?”

 _FUCK, JAEMIN CAN’T KNOW I’M HOME,_ Jisung panics and no, everything is not okay, he’s going to hurl, maybe he should just fall off the apartment except he hates heights and that would be so panful and he’s shaking so bad and–

“OKAY BYE!” Jisung yells before the line goes out.

Donghyuck looks at his phone confusedly, unsure of what just happened. It all seems very, very weird.

“Is he okay?” Mark asks. “He sounded panicked over the phone.”  
“I dunno, it was just really weird,” Donghyuck replies. “He said Jaemin’s coming home, to get his sweater or something? So come on, put your shirt on.”

“What? Hello, we were in the middle of making out.”

“Come on, he said Jaemin’s gonna be home. We don’t wanna get caught, remember?”

“Oh come on, it’s not like Jaemin’s going to be home any time soon.”

As if right on cue, there’s the sound of the front door unlocking, and Donghyuck might laugh, he’s never seen Mark put on a shirt so fast in his life.

“Haechanieeeeee.”

“Shut up, Jaemin.”

Jisung just about falls out of the window and into their room, panicked that Jaemin is home _that_ quickly, didn’t he just see him out on the street only a couple seconds ago?

Fuck, where is he supposed to hide? If Jaemin comes in and sees him, and then Donghyuck and Mark will put two and two together and know that he was home when they were–

 _The closet?_ Jisung thinks, then realizes it’s entirely too small for him to hide in, and then he frantically looks all around the room for a place to hide, until realizing under the bed, under the bed, he’s good at that, he’s small enough to fit under the bunk bed, right?

“–oh and Jisung called, are you looking for a sweater?”

“Sweater? What? No, that’s weird. But actually, now that you mention it, I have noticed that–”

“Oh my god, Jaemin, for the last time, I do not wear your clothes. You have the worst fashion taste.”

“Do not!”

“Who was wearing that disgustingly large oversize jacket? You looked like you were wearing a trash bag!”

“You’re just mad that you’re not as in tune with streetwear trends as _I_ am because I get–”

“Oh, here we go again, all the talk about how you’re an _influencer_ now–”

Jisung frantically moves some of the boxes under Jaemin’s bottom bunk, squishes himself in as fast as he can, and it’s barely seconds when he grabs the box and places it under the bed before their bedroom door opens.

“–and you know what, it’s thanks to _me_ that we even got invited to Lisa’s rooftop party!” Jaemin shouts back into the living room as he walks into the room, putting his backpack on the floor.

“Oh please, that was all Ten,” Donghyuck scoffs.

“Why is the window open?” Jaemin thinks out loud, before going to close it. “Anyways, I’m gonna get dinner with Jisung later, you guys wanna come?”

“Nah, thanks, I’m good,” Mark says. 

“Where you getting dinner?” Donghyuck asks.

“Quarters.”

“Alright, down.”

“What?!” Mark says. “Weren’t you all just heated at each other just now?”

“Eh, I’m kinda over it now, aren’t you, Jaem?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin sighs. “Kinda over it. Just want food. Nana gets cranky when he doesn’t get food with his baby,” he pouts.

Jisung hears Donghyuck gag. “Yeah, now I remember why I was annoyed with you in the first place.

“Shut up, like you don’t aegyo it up with everyone else, why am I not allowed to?” Jaemin jabs playfully.

“Well...I am kinda hungry,” Mark says, stomach growling as if on cue. “I was supposed to get lunch with Jisung sometime. Maybe early dinner will work instead?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Alright, well, let’s go, losers,” Donghyuck says, and what sounds like the slapping of two flat pancake asses before they all walk out of the apartment and the door locks.

Jisung finally feels like exhaling, with what seems like a sigh of relief, the underside of the bunk bed feeling claustrophobic. He slowly inches his way out, pushing the box out from in front of him, and then he finally makes it from under the bed. He gets up, breathing heavily, still hot from how constrained everything is underneath the bed, and goes back to put Jaemin’s box of–

–of what appears to be brightly colored phallic objects that appear in the drawer which accidentally slid open, when Jisung had shoved it so he could get out from under the bed–

“THAT’S WHAT HE KEEPS UNDERNEATH HIS BED?!?!?!?!?!”

Now having arrived at said inevitable mental breakdown, Jisung involuntarily releases the most blood-curdling scream he’s ever heard, before promptly collapsing onto the floor and shivering, permanently and irrevocably scarred for life.

Before he loses it all, he frantically opens Spotify, and attempts to keep any semblance of sanity by using the only coping mechanism he has.

“Oh my god, why me? Why, why me?!” he shudders and cries out loud, rocking back and forth in a nearly pathetic ball on the floor.

_Drink you spilled all over me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time: the game, wanna play?
> 
> (playlist coming soon!)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)


	4. the game, wanna play?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung freaks out, and Renjun and Yeri have some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i know absolutely nothing about astrology except for the fact that i'm a sourdough rising (also, Halloweentown spoilers)

_It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands  
_

Seventeen minutes later, Jisung finds himself on the floor of his room.

At first, he’s not really sure what’s happened–

Wait.

That’s right.

Jisung flashes back to seventeen minutes before, when he’d sobbed whilst crying to Ribs by Lorde after realizing that Mark and Donghyuck were not only a thing, but also beyond careless about getting found out, since they hadn’t even bothered to check he’d been home before they’d started sucking face on the couch. Their _shared_ and very much _communal_ living room couch. Jisung thinks about what other nasty things they might have–

Jisung shoves that thought before he can get to it. 

He realizes that he, in fact, blacked out and passed out from crying too much and having a mental breakdown. Normally, he’d be embarrassed, but given that he just found out his two roommates (who he’s trapped into living with because of a lease he signed) are more than friends, part of him feels like he just died.

Jisung feels empty, simply put. What is he supposed to do? Who the hell is he supposed to talk to about this? He’s all out of options because there’s not one person he can talk to...seeing as every scenario in his mind plays out in dumpster fire consequences.

Telling Mark? Absolutely not. That would be the most awkward conversation of his life and he’d rather die than do that.

Telling Haechan? No...the whole point is that he’s too embarrassed to ever be in the same room as Mark and Haechan ever again.

Telling Renjun? No...it would go so bad, Renjun would be pissed they’d been keeping that a secret from everyone, because it changes the whole dynamic of the apartment, since that was literally all he talked about. Rule number one, don’t end up sleeping with the people you live with.

Telling Jeno? Well...it could work. Except that Jeno is _way_ too close with Donghyuck, and then he’d tell him, and then that goes back to the reasons why he will never tell Donghyuck that he knows.

Telling Jaemin is not even an option, it’s a nuclear button.

Telling Chenle is also not an option, since Chenle knows everything about everyone and would accidentally let it out to someone. And if it’s Jaemin, well...that would be bad.

He needs someone outside of their friend group to talk to this about, someone who knows all the guys but also is far enough removed from the situation that wouldn’t care, but who? Who is he supposed to talk to about this?

Well…

***

Yeri’s a bit perplexed when she sees Jisung’s name blaring on her phone screen. She’s only texted him once, and that was to say _Hey, Jeno gave me your number, do you know if Mark is home?_ And that’s been the extent of their conversations. 

Still, this doesn’t seem like a butt dial, so she picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Yeri?”

“Uh...hey, Jisung,” she says.

“Hey, um...are you free right now?”

“Uh...well, I’m meeting Yukhei in a couple minutes for dinner, Mark and Donghyuck invited us,” Yeri replies. “Actually, they’d mentioned that Jaemin said you’d be there. Do you...uh, need a ride or something?”

“NO! No, I mean, sorry, that sounded bad, uh–”

“Is everything okay?” Yeri asks. 

“What do you mean?”

“Uh...well, it’s not like we talk much,” she says. “But it sounds like you’re kind of stressed out–”

“MARKANDDONGHYUCKWEREDOINGSTUFFONTHECOUCH!!!!”

“Uh...what?” Yeri says, trying not to laugh. “Sorry...hold on, is it okay if I put you on speaker?”

“Yeah I don’t know I’m just really stressed out and–”

“So, wait, did you just say Mark and Donghyuck were _doing stuff_ on the couch?” Yeri says as she clicks the button for the speaker.

“Oh my god, I just–I’m sorry I needed to tell someone I needed to get this off my chest and you were the first person I thought of and they’re acting so weird lately and now I figured out why but I don’t know what to do with this information and then when they tried coming into my room I hid under the bed but found a bunch of Jaemin’s toys and it was really–”

“ _WHOA_ , whoa, okay, uh...let’s uh...let’s backtrack there,” Yeri says, trying so hard not to laugh right now. “So, Mark and Donghyuck, huh? They’re an item, are they.”

“Yes! And it’s so weird, just, fuck what the hell am I supposed to do, I didn’t know who to call and I felt really weird and so icky just icky, icky, icky! I feel so icky inside! It’s so grosssss,” he whines. “And I feel so weird because I can’t tell anyone in my apartment because then they’re all going to flip out because this is literally the worst thing to happen to us and I just figured since you know everyone you would understand how I feel and–”

“Hey, Jisung, calm down, calm down,” Yeri says. “Let’s just calm down. I’m gonna call Renjun, and I’ll tell him to go over to your apartment right now, okay?”

“You will?”

“Mhmmm,” she replies. “I’ll tell him he should just go home. Won’t give him a reason, won’t say anything about what you just told me, yeah?”

“Yes please please _pleaseee_ don’t tell him,” Jisung begs. “He’s going to flip out so badly when he finds out. He’s always telling me to never date your roommates, always talks about never to sleep with the people you live with and he’ll be so pissed if he finds out about them and I don’t know why they’re so stupid like yeah Mark is always stupid but I expected better and I’m just so confused I feel so gross just gross gross gross–”

“Yes, gross, I got that,” Yeri cuts in. “Just–give me five minutes, and I’ll get Renjun home to you as fast as possible. Sound good?”

“Yes, please, thank you so much, I owe you big time it’s just so weird this is so weird what am I supposed to do it feels like my life is falling apart and–”

“Hey, Jisung?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh...I really appreciate you calling me, and I’m glad you reached out but uh...I actually have to go now,” she says between stifled laughter. “But I’ll call Renjun and tell him to text you, okay?”

“Oh...okay, uh, yeah, thanks for talking to me–”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem!”

“Uh...okay, then, uh...I’ll talk to you later,” Jisung says awkwardly.

“Yeah, for sure. Later dude!”

“Wait-WAIT!”

“What?” she asks.

“Don’t tell Renjun _any_ of this, please.”

“About what?”

“About me finding out about Mark and Donghyuck or about Mark and Donghyuck _PLEASE_ Yeri no one can find out,” Jisung pleads. “He’ll flip out. He’ll be so pissed if he finds out, please Yeri can we just...please, keep this between us.”

“But doesn’t he deserve to–”

“Please, Yeri,” Jisung’s practically begging her at this point. “I don’t want to lie in a warzone.”

She can’t help but laugh at that. “Alright, I won’t say anything. But only if you agree not to say anything to anyone either.”

“Never,” he swears. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Don’t jinx it,” she jokes. “Okay, well. Bye, Jisung!”

And then she hangs up and lets out one of the largest laughs she’s felt like she’s been holding in forever, can’t stop cackling as she looks over at Renjun in her passenger seat.

“This isn’t funny,” Renjun says, except he’s cackling too, half out of just hysteria and half out of anger.

“No the timing–”

“Shut up–”

“The absolute timing of _me_ dropping _you_ off at your apartment–”

“Yeri I swear I will–”

“And not only did they break your rules but it was _Jisung_ that’s going to be their downfall–”

“Oh my god–”

“This is literally going to be what’s going to tear your apartment apart, _Jisung_ of all people, you know what we should call it–”

“Jisung-gate,” they both say at the same time and then burst into a fit of laughter, crying at how ridiculous this situation has become. 

“Oh, wow...wow,” Renjun giggles to himself. “This is _not_ the development I was expecting.”

“You’re mad as fuck, though, aren’t you?” Yeri laughs.

“Oh one hundred percent,” Renjun giggles. “I’m definitely feeling like I could kill the two gay people living together and dating in my apartment right now. Yeah, definitely.”

“Haechan and Mark, or are you just counting Jaemin twice since he’s got _at least_ two personalities?” Yeri jokes, and they both start laughing again.

“Oh my god, wow...okay, well, I gotta go fix that upstairs,” Renjun says.

“Let me know how it goes,” Yeri smiles. “I’m gonna go head off to dinner with the gay people in question.”

“This is going to be so fun,” Renjun laughs. “Horrible, horrible because they broke my rules but wow...I’m going to milk this as much as possible.”

And with that, Renjun unceremoniously gets out of Yeri’s passenger seat and starts walking to the apartment complex to confront (and comfort) his one one panicked roommate.

* * *

_No one understands_

“Jisung!” Renjun shouts.

“Renjun?” Jisung says confusedly, not understanding how Renjun got home so fast after he’d just texted him that he needed to come home as soon as possible. “How’d you get here so fast?”

“I was on my way home anyways, what’s up?” he says.

“Oh, god–okay, Renjun, this is, fuck, this is so messed up you have no idea what just happened and I’m feeling really sick I can’t tell you but I want to tell you it’s so bad–”

  
“Whoa, Jisung, buddy, let’s calm down for a minute,” Renjun says. “Deep breathes, okay? Deep breaths. Just keep breathing.”

“I am breathing!” Jisung barely rasps out.

“Jisung, come on.”

“Okay, okay.”

It takes about Jisung five minutes to stop from pseudo-hyperventilating, and breathing at a regular pace before he attempts to start talking again.

“So...I just...it’s really weird and–”

“Is this about Mark and Donghyuck?”

Jisung’s eyes go wide. “Oh my god you...do you know?”

Renjun nods. “Yeah, of course I do.”

_Holy shit, he knows?!_

Jisung’s eyebrows furrow. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, of course I know,” Renjun shrugs, “they’ve been hitting a rough patch lately, fighting a lot, didn’t you know?”

“What?!” Jisung exclaims, then backtracks, because that would look suspicious, and maybe he shouldn’t tell Renjun because if Renjun knew what he was talking about he’d blow a gasket.

“Is that not what you were talking about?”

“Wha-no, no! I was, uh, definitely talking about that,” Jisung walks back on his original statement. “Yeah, no, I was, uh, definitely talking about that.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too,” Renjun sighs. 

“Really?”

“Of course I have,” he nods his head. “It’s just weird, you know? They always debate about how, well, Donghyuck takes too long of _baths_ sometimes, says he hogs the shower.”

Jisung’s palms are getting sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. “R-really?”

“Oh yeah,” Renjun nods. “They’ve been arguing about that, just really petty stuff, you know? But you know Mark and Donghyuck. Arguing about that stuff. Sometimes even in the living room on the _couch_ where everyone can hear them, you know?”

Jisung thinks he’s going to lose his mind. “Wh-what?”

“Oh, yeah, you know?” Renjun says. “One time I overheard them having _really_ loud–”

“STOP STOP STOP STOP!” Jisung shouts frantically.

Renjun shirks back a bit. “What? I was just saying how they have really loud arguments sometimes?”

“OH–oh, oh, uh, yeah, sorry just got a bit–”

“A bit what–”

“Just a bit confused, haha, that’s all,” Jisung says, and wow this is not helping, calling Renjun and having him home is not helping, he’s feeling his brain melt into a puddle of primordial soup at this point, he’d rather dissolve into nothing than keep pretending everything is fine.

“Are you okay, Jisung?” Renjun says. “You’ve been acting really strange. Yeri said you were super stressed over the phone. Did something happen?”

“What-what?! No, no,” Jisung tries to laugh it off, shaking a bit. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just...um…”

“She said you mentioned something about Jaemin’s toys?” Renjun asks. “Did Jaemin do something to you–”

“NO-noonono-noooooo no that was...nothing, nothing,” Jisung feels his cheeks getting hotter and he’s sweating, when was the last time he broke a sweat? This is easily in the top ten for worst days in Park Jisung’s life, he already knows it’s at least ranked at number seven.

“Did Jaemin do something to you?” Renjun asks but he can’t explain it because if he explains Jaemin’s _toys_ then he has to explain why he was down there and explain about overhearing Mark and Donghyuck and then it’ll blow up in his face and Renjun’s going to kill both of them and then he’ll be going to jail for being an accessory of murder–

“No-nononono-Jaemin did just–I don’t want to go to dinner tonight!” he blurts out.

Renjun raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“Just–uh, uh, what I uh, um, meant,” Jisung stammers, “is that, um, I meant that uh, Jaemin, well, he–I meant to tell Yeri, what Yeri probably heard is that I’m just not in the mood to, uh, have dinner, because, um, Jaemin, uh, I feel like he’s toying with me too much lately, that’s what I meant to say.”

“Oh,” Renjun replies. “Jaemin is toying with you, is that it?”

“Yes,” he says meekly.

“I guess it’s always because he’s trying to _insert_ himself into your life?” Renjun asks. “Just wants to _thrust_ himself into any situation to make you uncomfortable, _toy_ with you, is what I’m understanding?”

Jisung wishes the desperate wails inside his mind could be released by very loud shrieks, but he can’t do that, because then Renjun will _really_ know something is wrong. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Renjun was trying to mess with him, but no, this is just an unfortunate situation where Renjun having an extensive vocabulary is coming to bite Jisung in the–

“YES,” he blurts out to avoid finishing that thought, “yes yes YEAH uh, yeah, Jaemin just–he can be a bit much sometimes and, uh, yeah, uh, that’s why I don’t want to go to dinner–”

“Ah, don’t feeling like _eating out_ tonight, with Jaemin,” Renjun says, and he swears his brain is just creating the emphases on Renjun’s words on purpose, he didn’t realize he had such a dirty mind and he’s never wanted to douse himself in holy water so badly before.

“Yeah, uh, yeah, sorry, I just I guess I freaked out about it and I didn’t want to confront it so I uh, I just decided to hide from him instead,” Jisung blubbers. 

“Didn’t want to go to dinner, huh?” Renjun notes. “I get it, Jisung. It’s hard, sometimes, saying no to Jaemin. He sometimes just _bounces_ back in the same _position_ as before, and then you’re stuck with him, you know?”

“Y-yeah,” Jisung says flusteredly.

“Mmmm,” Renjun hums. “I’m guessing you don’t want to tell Jaemin, huh? About this _toying_ situation you got going on? Afraid to confront him about this?”

“Y-yes…” Jisung says, almost on the verge of tears.

“Mmmhmm,” Renjun says. “Alright, I’ll tell him you’ve got plans with me instead.”

“Wh-wait, really?” Jisung replies. “Are you sure? I don’t know if he’ll take it well–”

“I’ll just tell him we already made plans and you forgot about them,” Renjun shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. It’s me, I can deal with Jaemin, been dealing with him for the past seven or so years, I forget.”

“Oh,” Jisung says, starting to calm down from his flustered state, realizing he might have been overreacting a bit, but is thankful Renjun knows he’s a bit spastic sometimes. “Uh...thanks, Renjun. Sorry, for, uh, overreacting earlier.”

Renjun smirks. “You always overreact.”

“I don’t, Jaemin is just–”

“A handful?” He chuckles. “Yeah, I know.”

Jisung sighs, feeling peace for the first time in awhile. Feels more at ease with keeping Mark and Donghyuck’s secret...for now. He still wants to tell Renjun, because Renjun deserves to know, but it’s just not a good time. Not when Renjun’s being so nice to him! He doesn’t want to ruin his mood.

And it’s not like Renjun has to ever find out, right? Mark and Donghyuck seemed to have been keeping this a secret for so long without anyone in the apartment finding out. They just made a mistake, technically they had texted in the apartment group chat if anyone had been home. He just was asleep when they’d asked. So in actuality, maybe this is _his_ mistake, and he’ll just keep it to himself. 

Because the last thing he wants is everyone else knowing about this, because now he’s realizing, if _he_ reacted this badly to finding out about Mark and Donghyuck, how the hell are Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun going to react when they find out?

That’s a can of worms Jisung doesn’t want to open, because not even an infinite loop of Ribs by Lorde will be able to heal the trauma he’d go through if that happens.

 _They’re all graduating this year,_ he thinks to himself. _They’re all graduating, and then you can just move in with Chenle or something, just one semester, Jisung. That’s a short time, you can keep a secret for that long._

“Okay well...yeah, I’d like to eat, if that’s okay with you,” Jisung says, stomach growling in response. “I am kind of hungry.”

“Well, you are a growing boy,” Renjun replies.

In the blink of an eye, his grateful feelings for Renjun turn into irritation. “Hey, I told you not to call me a growing boy, I’m nineteen, I’m finished with puberty.”

“Okay, okay,” Renjun relents.

“Seriously, you’re one to joke about that, since I’m taller than you and I’m not even done growing yet,” Jisung says.

Then him and Renjun are both looking at each other with wide eyes and he feels bad, seeing as Renjun’s been more than patient with him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound so harsh–”

“It’s fine,” Renjun stops him. “Not the worst thing you’ve said nor will it be the worst thing you will say to me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just go get changed so we can go get some pizza,” Renjun says.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

Renjun gives him a look, and Jisung realizes he did just wake up about an hour ago and probably looks like shit, so he gets it.

“Okay, I get it,” he sighs. “Give me an hour?”

“I’ll give you half, come on, I’m just as hungry as you.”

“Alright, alright,” Jisung says as he goes off to his room, closes the door behind him and then lets out a reluctant sigh.

“Come on, Jisung,” he whispers to himself. “Just...stay cool. You can do this. You can keep a secret.”

Meanwhile, Renjun’s standing in the living room as he crosses his arms, smirking to himself and feeling extremely smug. Somewhat laughing to himself, relishing in how absolutely _bugged_ Jisung was whenever he said something even borderline suggestive about Jaemin and toys.

Yeah, this’ll definitely be fun.

“Oh, Mark,” he smiles to himself, “you picked the _wrong_ apartment to fall in love with your roommate.”

He whips out his phone and starts texting Yeri everything that’s just happened.

***

“Why do you keep looking at me funny, Yeri?” Jaemin asks.

“Hmm, what?” Yeri replies, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. “Oh, I dunno, I just...just thinking about _boys_ is all. Busy thinking ‘bout boys.”

“Ugh, you and me both,” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “And B-T-W, Miss X-C-X, don’t even think about it. You of all people know I suffer from the same incurable disease as you called _being attracted to men_.”

“Are you sure we're the only ones?” Yeri winks. “I’ve heard some rumors that other people we know are thinking about boys too.”

Mark nearly chokes on his water, and Donghyuck’s eyes read somewhere along the lines of _Kim Yerim what the hell do you think you’re doing_ but she doesn’t care, this is so fun.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jaemin asks, flipping one of the pieces of _samgyeopsal_ on the grill, smoke rising from the center of the table. 

“Oh, nothing, just thinking about some of my readings on Co-Star today,” Yeri says, and she knows she’s got Jaemin hooked because if there’s one thing she knows connects the girls and the gays, it’s astrology.

“What about Co-Star?” Jaemin asks.

“Oh, well, as you know, I’m a Pisces Sun, Libra Moon,” she replies. “But anyways, I went to my astrology reader today–”

“Wait, you have an astrology read– _owww_ , what the hell, bro?” Yukhei groans after she kicks him in the shin under the table.

“You have an astrology reader?” Jaemin replies. “Like, a professional one?”

“Do you want his card?” Yeri winks. “He told me he saw in his future a particular _Leo_ I know falling in love with someone I’m close to.”

Mark’s eyes go wide, and Yeri wants to laugh, because she was the one who reminded Mark he was a Leo just five minutes ago, whilst Haechan and Jaemin had gotten in a quite _heated_ discussion about Leo-Gemini compatibility (if only Jaemin knew exactly why he’d gotten so defensive about it). 

“Uh, why are we talking about astrology?” Yukhei says, clueless as ever as he goes to grab a piece of _samgyeopsal_ from the grill.

“Well, which Leo was he talking about, hmmm?” Jaemin muses. “I know you’re closer to Mark than to me. Obviously he was talking about Mark.”

Donghyuck looks like he wants to pounce across the table and annihilate her, so Yeri just widens her shit-eating grin in response. “Actually, he said this particular Leo might be a Capricorn Moon.”

That seems to pique Jaemin’s interest. “I’m a Capricorn Moon. Mark?”

“Uhh...I’m a fan of Sailor Moon?” Mark says nervously.

“Useless, absolutely useless,” Jaemin mutters. “I’ll never wrap my mind around Leos who don’t know their own natal chart, it's like a lesbian not knowing what two short nails means.”

Mark gets self-conscious and starts looking at his nails in confusion.

“Wait, Jaemin, you’re a Capricorn Moon?” Yeri says with false surprise, except Renjun had texted her that two minutes ago when she’d asked him. “I had no idea!”

“So, your professional astrologer, what’s he like?” Jaemin asks, getting straight to business. “How tall is he? Major? Is he business? I don’t do pre-business boys or pre-meds. No pre-anything unless it’s pre-come.”

Yukhei almost gags on his food. “Bro, come on, I’m tryna eat here,” he complains between a mouthful of rice and pork.

“He’s a Sagittarius. Let’s just say his name is Ki Osa, code name 'K-Oh' for short, to protect his privacy so you don't try to stalk him on Instagram and see what followers you have in common. About Oh, let’s see...K-Oh likes to dance. He’s majoring in Psychology, emphasis on psycho, so I know he's your type. Only pre he had was pre-Psychology but now he’s just Psychology.”

“Psychology major who takes astrology seriously? Sounds like a recipe for daddy issues and a guilt-complex kink, which may or may not turn me on,” Jaemin notes with a glimmer of self-awareness. “What’s his thing? How’d this 'K-Oh' become your professional astrology reader?”

“He’s a friend of a friend of a friend,” Yeri says, not breaking eye contact once as she’s simultaneously texting Chaeyoung to ask Mina to get Shotaro set up on a date with "a friend".

“Is he a freshman? You know I don’t date freshmen.”

“He’s actually a transfer student,” Yeri smiles. “He’s in Yukhei’s public economics class.”

“He is?” Yukhei asks, and once again, Yeri kicks him in the shin. He doesn’t groan out loud this time, just mumbles _these dinner plans suck_ to himself.

“Is he?” Jaemin says. “Yukhei sounds like he doesn’t know.”

“Mhmmm,” Yeri says. “Actually, he is, the reason I know is because Chaeyoung told me, since she and Yukhei are in that Psychology class, she noticed K-Oh has been there too sometimes. And, you know what, Donghyuck, you’re in that class, too, aren’t you?”

Donghyuck turns to her midway between eating a piece of pork. “Maybe.”

If Donghyuck is boiling with rage on the inside, he doesn’t show it, pretending to be as cool as a cucumber (much like the cucumbers sitting in the _banchan_ dish at the table). “I am.”

“Huh, interesting,” Yeri notes. “Do you think Jaemin’s the right Leo for K-Oh?” 

“Sure,” he says shortly.

She feigns innocence. “Or do you think Mark would be a more suitable Leo?”

“I don’t think Mark would be the right one,” he says through a clenched smile of gritted teeth.

“No? But I think he should try dating both of them, no?” Yeri says innocently. “After all, K-Oh said this Leo only _might_ be a Capricorn Moon. It could be Mark is the right Leo for him.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Donghyuck says. 

“Why?” She smiles.

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, just grabs a piece of _samgyeopsal_ and starts chewing on it very, very aggressively. Jaemin glances between the two of them. “Uh, what’s going on here?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Yeri says, leaning back a bit in her seat. “You’re probably right, Donghyuck. Jaemin might be more of K-Oh’s type anyways. Unless you think otherwise, no?”

“No, I don’t,” Donghyuck says roughly, hard frown plastered on his face.

“Wait a minute...are you trying to sabotage my chance at love?” Jaemin says, and hook, line, and _sinker._

Donghyuck glares at him, even more visibly annoyed than before. “And why the hell would I do that? Why the hell would I be so concerned with your love life that I’m trying to sabotage your chances with some guy in my economics class–”

“Oh my god, this is exactly what this is!” Jaemin exclaims. “Of course, just because you’re a Leo _Moon_ you think this is about you and not me and Mark–”

“Stop making this about Mark when this is clearly about you and your victimization complex!”

“It’s not victimizing if I am the victim here!” Jaemin shouts. “Of your clear sabotage! I cannot believe you! What, you just don’t want to see me happy?!”

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you happy, then I’d get you off my ass because you always accuse me of trying to sabotage your every moment!” Donghyuck shouts back. "Have you ever just, K- _Oh_ , I don't know, had the thought that you're _actually_ just a shit person?"

“So you ADMIT that you’ve been trying to sabotage me!” Jaemin shrieks, and Yukhei and Mark both groan, because they know what happens next, but Yeri simply cackles to herself.

And there's the fun in all of this. It’s so easy at this point; play into Jaemin’s wants (and libido), get a rise out of Donghyuck, and then half the time Jaemin victimizes himself into thinking Donghyuck is out to get him and the two go at it. And with dangling Donghyuck and Mark’s secret relationship in front of one Na Jaemin, it’s so easy to do. She wishes she could have Renjun next to her here to enjoy this, since Yukhei has no idea what game of 4-D chess she’s playing right now.

Mark attempts to diffuse the argument. “You guys, come on, this is so stupid–”

“Is it? _Is it_?!” Jaemin repeats again for extra emphasis. “Is it so stupid when I have every right to be paranoid of a Brutus _among us_?”

“Oh, comparing yourself to Caesar now, are we?” Donghyuck retorts. “Fitting, since you really do put the absolute _dick_ in dictator, it’s a miracle someone hasn’t literally stabbed you yet.”

“ _First_ of all, you know it was a reference to the Gretchen Weiners soliloquy we both quote which is in reference to the Shakespeare play, not the actual historical figures,” Jaemin rants, “and _second_ of all, I’ll have you know I actually _have_ been stabbed by you–”

“That was ONE time!” Donghyuck says, incensed. “It’s not my fault you drank an eight-shot Americano beforehand at nine _fricking_ thirty at night and couldn’t sit still!”

“It’s not my fault you have the unsteady and unskilled hands of an untouched virgin!” Jaemin replies.

“It’s not my fault you’re literally so physically incapable of listening to people because you’re literally the most self-involved person I’ve ever met!”

“How am I being self-involved when _you’re_ the one who stabbed me!”

“With a _thumbtack_ it was a thumbtack!” 

“Well maybe if you had read the Wiki-How article before starting to–”

“I told you to take your sweatshirt off but _noooooo_ you _insisted_ that you keep it on because you think I’m _that_ far beneath you–”

“It was a limited-edition Golf-Wang hoodie that was one of ten hoodies that Tyler himself signed, of course I wasn’t going to let you touch it!” Jaemin shouts. “It would be an insult to the Golf Wang brand for me to take it off while you tried to fix it!”

“BRO,” Yukhei complains. “Enough of this, can we just, I don’t know, eat our KBBQ like normal people instead of arguing about stuff every five minutes?”

“NO!” They both turn and shout at him, before delving into what Yeri likes to call _Nahyuck lightning round_ at the dinner table, and Donghyuck does indeed start off strong–

“Because he accuses me of doing this shit all the time–”

“You literally _stabbed_ me–”

“And you always exaggerate when you’re such a fucking baby–”

“You _broke_ through my skin barrier on my face _right_ after I had finished with my sheet mask for the night–”

“And you’re a fucking idiot for valuing that stupid sweatshirt so much–”

“Call me an idiot one more fucking time, says the idiot who uses the oil-based cleanser before the water-based cleanser–”

“So much, you practically worship this _piece of fabric_ and yet you’re the one who decided to wear it to sleep that night but didn’t check beforehand–”

“I do not worship anything except myself and you know damn well that–”

“That what, you make streetwear one of your defining personality traits just like you do astrology? As if–”

“Oh, so what this is _really_ about is me arguing why Geminis and Leos are so incompatible–”

“You literally don’t know shit about astrology–”

“Just admit it, we’d make the best couple but you’re just _madly_ in denial about being into me that you refuse to believe–”

“I didn’t deny the existence of Gemini-Leo compatibility, I denied any compatibility with you because it would _never_ happen because you’re the literal worst–”

“At what? Making you loathe yourself so much because you have a turn-on for hate sex? Admit it, you’ve thought about it! I’ve thought about it, I know you have–”

“Ew WHAT?! No, you are the worst, I wouldn’t hate-sex you, I _would_ hate-crime you because literally just _hate_ you straight up–”

“And yet you’re the one who turns this into an argument every time–”

“Because _you’re_ the one who starts it every time–”

“And yet you continue when you could stop this at any time but you _don’t_ and you know why? Because this secretly turns you on,” Jaemin sneers, and Haechan practically _snarls_ and Yeri’s trying not to lose her shit as she stifles hundreds of cackles. “Admit it, you just don’t want to admit that you’re into–”

“Into what? A self-professed narcissist who’s so metrosexual you make Nate Archibald look like he's part of the proletariat–”

“Ooooh you wanna kiss me so bad – but no, you're too stubborn to ever admit it, _pack it up_ internalized homophobia and self-denial–”

“No you _pack it up_ self-obsessed individuality complex who thinks he’s the main character–”

“I _am_ the main character–”

“No you’re fucking _NOT_ you’re _barely_ even a side character–”

“I CRIED WATCHING HALLOWEENTOWN LAST NIGHT!” Mark blurts out loudly.

And then they’re all staring at Mark.

“What?” Yukhei says.

“I cried watching Halloweentown last night,” Mark says quietly, much more timid this time, and it feels so awkward.

“Bro...Halloweentown? Really?”

“I thought it was scary,” he mumbles. “You know I hate scary movies. I thought Marnie had died there when Caliber hexed her, for a second.”

Jaemin gawks at Donghyuck’s secret boyfriend. “Dude, it’s a Disney Channel movie–”

“Yeah, well...it was scary!” Mark protests. “I thought it was scary, okay?”

“Why...would you _ever_ admit that?” Jaemin says. “That’s so...I don’t even know how to describe how embarrassing that is for you, keep that shit to yourself next time.”

“Because I was so sick of hearing you two argue with each other,” Mark groans.

“Arguing?” Donghyuck replies. “What do you mean, arguing? We’re just having a conversation, Mark.”

“That was _not_ a conversation,” Mark says indignantly. “You two were barely civil with each other.”

“What do you mean?” Jaemin says. “I thought Donghyuck brought up some salient points to the argument.”

“As did I,” Donghyuck agrees.

“Oh my god, why do you two always do this–”

“Do what?” they say in unison, and Mark just groans while Yeri cackles and Yukhei shrugs before taking another piece of _samgyeopsal_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time: the money, suit and tie
> 
> (playlist coming soon!...i keep saying that will it ever happen LMAO)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)


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